The "Hell" Thing

I have quite a few Christian friends and almost friends. One of the more interesting topics to discuss with them (or you) is hell and how it relates to the overall characteristics of God and/or Jesus. Now, I fully realize that since NONE of us know what happens after we die, that some people are reluctant to even discuss it. But, in my need to understand as much as I can about people, the world, and myself, I enjoy such conversations.

Most everyone I know that is religious is a Christian, so that's the point of view I will be taking up. Not to knock Muslims, Buddhists, Mormons, Reptilians, followers of Zeus or anyone else.....it's just that Christianity is my background. 

I kind of get that if you don't express faith in God/Jesus that you must be separated from him. God made the rules, so in it's simplest form, I don't disagree with that. But, when you bring hell into the equation, I get really messed up. You see, I was told from a VERY early age that I was always being watched. All of my thoughts were being heard. Even if I thought something and didn't act on it, I was held responsible. Add to the fear that there was no way for me to ever be alone to just think, that I believed I would inevitably go to hell because the bar was so high. Then, put a heavy pile of guilt on, with a side order of being scared to death that we were gonna get nuked by the Russians at any minute. I'm firmly convince that that bullshit, along with the abuse my father heaped out on my family, is why it has taken me so long to finally be comfortable just being who I am. 

If I reject Jesus, and if Bible God is real, I'm going to hell. I sinned the ultimate sin and so I have to pay. Like prison or standing in the corner. But, forever? And burning? God really couldn't come up with anything better? Like just smiting me out of existence? What's in it for God that he needs a place to put souls, so they will burn forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever..........that's not a long time.....it's FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Eternity. Again, what's in it for God/Jesus? Is that really a punishment that fits the crime? Who is he trying to persuade to be good? Those in heaven? Well, they are in heaven, so it seems like they really wouldn't need any convincing to be good. They made it. Hooray for them! Torturing someone for eternity can lead me to believe only one conclusion; that God gets some sort of pleasure in the torture of the very souls he created. God KNOWS we are unworthy. God KNOWS we are sinners. Yet, a hundred years of hell isn't enough to let you know you screwed up. Only eternity will teach you a lesson. And it's a lesson you can't come back from. Because it's forever. No rehab. Forever. I will not even mention that we are given so little proof that Bible God is THE true god, though I guess I just did mention it.  2/3 of the planet doesn't subscribe to Bible God. So, here we are with a bunch of other gods and if you are not born in a Christian nation, you will likely serve another type of god. It's tough to win. It's like a cosmic lottery. If Bible God is the way to eternal life, he sure didn't give us much to go on and really hasn't been fair with a good portion of the inhabitants of the place he created.  We are judged to get an eternity of either heaven or hell based on a small amount of time, that amounts to less than the head of a pin when looked at through eternity. 

The attributes of God read just like the attributes of man. God is jealous and full of vengeance. God is kind. God loves. God forgives. God rewards. God punishes. Apparently God is remorseful. And, from what I've learned about the human race and religious leaders, it seems that God has an awful lot in common with the emotions and actions of man. If there is a god (and I'm not sayin' there ain't) I would hope that it is way more powerful and way beyond any simple emotion or pettiness that any of us could come up with.

I obviously don't believe in hell. But I can't understand why hell isn't a stumbling block for more many  Christians. It sounds like something a person would say to a kid to get them to act right. Sort of like saying "Keep making that face and it will stay that way". There are quite a few Christians that don't believe in hell. That is confusing also. If it's interpretation, then that's just one more problem to think through.

  I don't tell my kids that God/Jesus is listening to their thoughts and watching their every move. I don't tell them that if they don't believe they will go to hell forever when they die. I don't tell them that people they know who didn't believe in God are in hell. For my money, that's child abuse. I've seen what it's done to me and some others in my family and I refuse to have my kids going down the same path, getting the same mind bang that I got. My kids are being raised Christian and I don't have a huge problem with that. But, their upbringing is going to paint religion as more personnel and local and not on the level of some sort of grand scheme of which we are all a part of. Hell scares kids, and maybe eternal torment is not something that should motivate them to love a god. I imagine that was the point when it was thought up.  Think of yourself looking at your child and saying, "Disown me and I'll toss you in the microwave......forever."

I've said my peace on it. I want to know if hell and the concept of it trouble anyone? Especially Christians. How do you feel about telling your young kids about it? Is it a good idea to try to get someone to be good out of fear or should we try to appeal to someone to do right, because it's right? 

My intent here is not to criticize believers or mock anyone. Just trying to understand life.

And, don't some people really seem way too into the theory of hell as punishment? Almost like they are glad they get to look down on sinners and remind them that they are going to hell? Check this site out....there are plenty like it and plenty worse.....

http://www.apuritansmind.com/christianwalk/HateChrist.htm

Attention Vince Vaughn Fans!!! See "Made"

How many people watch a film and say to themselves "I don't even remember that one being out in theaters, but it's great!"?  I've done that from time to time and one of the films I've loved since first watching it is the Jon Favreau directed "Made". Yes, that Jon Favreau.....of "Elf" fame.....oh and he did a couple of little comic book flicks that you may have heard of; "Iron Man" and "Iron Man 2". Ring a bell?

It's nearly impossible to make me uncomfortable watching a comedy, but this one pulls it off. Jon Favreau and his buddy, Vince Vaughn are simply amazing in this movie. Their skills really started to come front and center on "Made". Both had previously been in "Rudy" and "Swingers" together. Favreau pretty much plays it straight and though the story really centers on him and how he handles a world that he is having trouble getting a hold of. The movie is stolen by Vaughn. This is, without any doubt, the best performance he has ever given. Right from the onset, you see he is potentially a character you could like, but every time he has a chance to say or do the right thing, he falters and relies on his want to be a shady character.....or a "made" man. 

The cast is really solid. Besides Favreau and Vaughn, Peter Falk, Sean Combs, and Faizon Love turn in stellar performances. Oh, and lest I forget, Famke Janssen, Sam Rockwell, and Vincent Pastore all are on top of their game as well. Rockwell has two unforgettably uncomfortable scenes with Vaughn, involving a tip, a fish bowl, the comfort level of a hotel room, and where to find women.

Bobby (Favreau) is a part time boxer, construction worker, and muscle for his stripper girlfriend (Janssen). Bobby badly wants to be able to take care of her and her daughter on the up and up. But, after roughing up a guy at a bachelor party, he becomes indebted to local mob boss, Max. Max needs Bobby for a job. Bobby recommends that his friend Ricky (Vaughn) do the job and Max allows Ricky to be involved, so long as Bobby is. You see Max hates Ricky because Ricky "lost" Max's cleaning van and isn't known for his smarts or trustworthiness.  Max really does like Bobby and that's the only reason that he keeps Ricky around doing odd jobs. One scene that is almost fall down funny is Ricky being playfully whipped by an architect at a job site.

The guys have to hop a plane to New York, leaving their L.A. lifestyle behind to make a "drop". The scene between Ricky and the stewardess on the plane is one of the most funny and nerve wrecking 5 minutes in film history.....I don't think I'm over selling it. In New York, the guys meet Driver Jimmy (Pastore), Screech (Dustin Diamond as himself) "Did you just let Screech into the fucking club?!!!", and Ruiz (Combs). Combs is excellent as a mover and shaker and engineer of deals and his side kick Horace (Faizon Love) is a nice punching bag for Ruiz. 

Needless to say, Ricky's antics get Bobby and him into all sorts of miserable situations. Those situations are funny, even though there is potential for anger and violence. Vaughn's character simply exacerbates every situation with his nonsense and want to be a "player". Seriously, if you have not seen this movie and you like Vince Vaughn, then rent it. Or buy it. It's a very solid, well made comedy, that makes you laugh and squirm at the same time. How? I don't know.......Vaughn is just that damn good. 

"The movies are great medicine, thank you Thomas Edison, for giving us the best years of our lives"

The Statler Brothers

My Life; Where I'm At After The Storm

I've spent a lot of time in my life not liking this, that, or the other, and dismissing experiences I could have or should have had. Most of the time, it was from being afraid of going outside of my comfort zone. Sometimes I even disregarded things because so many other people liked those things. I'm hoping that maybe I've turned the corner in that regard. 

I like people much more than I let on. I always try to see the best in a person, especially those who I have a lot of contact with. Of course, there are those nameless faces out in the world that drive me nuts (bad drivers, thoughtless morons, etc), but what are you gonna do? 

Now, I'm not about to start jumping out of airplanes or climbing any mountains, but there are aspects in which I've changed a great deal. I've had my sputters over the past 18 months. I've alienated some people and pissed off others and probably even disappointed some folks. But, that was all on the way to where I'm going. Change, when it's radical and fairly swift, can throw a person off kilter. Trying to understand what I was feeling put me in a position to say some things that were not necessarily how I meant them. The most significant change has been my leaving Christianity behind. I joke about it a lot, because it helps me deal with mourning it. Believing something for so long and then seeing it crumble under the microscope of critical thought and heart felt feelings has been tough at times. It is very much like mourning. 

In my discussions with folks, I have come to find out just how many interpretations there are of Christianity and Islam (among a few other religions). Some believe in hell. Some don't. Some believe in keeping OT values. Some don't. And on and on. It sucks the life out of trying to sort through to the truth. You can put 10 Christians together from 10 different denominations and you'll get 10 different ideas on life and Biblical topics. I'm at a place where I love to discuss religion and belief. Not so much the existence of god or gods. None of us REALLY know the answer to that, do we? But we can sort through religious dogma and come to some sort of agreements as to what is positive and what is negative......or maybe not. So far, as a species, we are not doing very well at it. 

Somehow, I'm much happier in my own skin now. And this will sound weird, but, I no longer fear death. It's inevitable and for the most part, I will not be in control of when and how it happens. We all..............ALL.....must face death. We can either run from it and pretend it's not coming, or we can embrace the idea that this play is going to continue to go on, once our character gets killed off. I've concluded that my life should be about experience, sharing, open mindedness, love, and joy. My love of family comes first and everything else will just have to sort itself out as it comes along. Priorities? Not much. It's hard to have a wish list when there are so many changes happening in our world.

It may or may not be very obvious, but I do partake of the pot. With that, I've pretty much quit drinking. No more liquor buzzes and all that stuff for me. It made me feel bad. It made me feel like someone else was running the show. It led me to deny my true character. Let's be frank. I have no reason to lie to anyone. I used to drink quite a bit. I'm not an alcoholic, but at times I could see how someone could easily fall down into that rabbit hole. The drinking kept me from appreciating my life properly. Religion played a part in that too, because of all the guilt I carried every single time I did something that Jesus would "tsk, tsk" me over. Now, I'm much more apt to take things as they come and try to make the best out of situations, where before I would blow up, hand out blame, and go into a depressive shell. I do battle the depression now and again, but it happens less and less now, and I attribute it to; my wife,not drinking, backing out of religion, feeling better about who I am, letting go of the past, realizing I will not live forever, and using marijuana. I have started weening off of anti-depressants and seeing a counselor. I firmly believe that, for the first time in my life, I am headed in the right direction as a human being.

What does the marijuana do for me, you may ask? Well, for one, it's opened me to up thinking about things differently. I have let my mind out of the box I had it trapped in. I no longer believe our world is black and white. There are simply too many nuances to think that there is always just right and just wrong, without a middle ground. I really like the way it makes me feel when I'm around people. I have more patience. I enjoy the little things more. The simple stuff that I used to push away or take for granted. Now, I'm not talking about getting stoned and/or partying all the time. I'm talking about hitting a little and going about your business. I really can't explain it. To understand how using a little several times a week can change a person, you have to do it. It is what it is, and I really feel that there is nothing for me to be ashamed of or feel guilty about. Anyone who thinks that it has to be a negative for my life should ask my wife or mom. They like me better, and I think some of that comes from my ability to think about my life. Sure, they'd rather that all of this change in me had come without the use of marijuana or losing my religion, but different strokes move different folks.

Here it is......for the longest stretch in my adult life, I can now honestly say the following;

I am happy.

I am happy to be alive.

I am enjoying the life I have carved out for myself and my family. 

I am not locked into any specific, rigid ideology, whether it be societal, political, or religious.

Consciousness has become very important to me. I want to be more aware of the things that go on around me and I want to see things from other points of view. It's the only way to understand the things that we can't figure out from our own point of view. Perspective means a lot. I may write another blog soon on consciousness. 

So, I know that I have kind of left the goofy stuff behind in my writing. It has not gone anywhere, I just have come to realize some things and the change in my life has led me to want to tell the tale. I don't want anyone to think I have abandoned them. My friends are still my friends.....nothing can take away time spent together and experiences we've had. Those were real and valuable. Yes, I'm different. But it was a change that I made for me and nobody else. If I didn't change, I really feel that eventually I would cave in on myself and lose my family and probably my life.

Cheers!!!!    :-)   

Depression Is....

If you are depressive or have depression (diagnosed or not), you know that it always has a way of finding you. No matter that you are feeling on top of the world for days or weeks on end, it's gonna find you. Chase it off with medicine. Self medicate. Go to counseling. Exercise. Eat better. It doesn't matter, it's gonna getcha!

Depression is like the weird uncle at family gatherings. You know that the gatherings are coming (Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc) and your crazy assed uncle is going to be there, like it or not. Saying things that are totally inappropriate, like "Hey, your daughter is really growing up. Has she got her period yet?" or drinking too much and falling down the stairs, then blaming it on Milli Vanilli not having a follow up album. You don't want depression to come back, but it wouldn't stay away if you paid it.

So, I've come up with a list of what depression is like and what it means to me. Sure, it affects everyone differently, but I thought it might be a good idea to sling a few cats up a tree to see if they can catch a branch or land on their feet (they always seem to).

Depression Is.....

Wanting to sleep more than a 19 year old high school drop out, living in mom's basement.

Believing people are conspiring against you, as if they were planning the JFK assassination.

Thinking nobody loves you, despite them putting up with your tantrums about sour cream having an expiration date.

Believing aliens are stalking you and have abducted your pets. (OK, never mind that one, it's a whole 'nother kind of crazy)

Wanting to be left alone and then when nobody comes around getting pissed because you think they don't care.

Small matters suddenly become large and overwhelming.....but only to you.

Getting "WTF?" looks from your friends and family when you tell them you'd prefer death over how you feel.

Sending a scathing, angry email and then wishing there was a "Take It Back" button just two seconds later.

Closing your Facebook account because someone talks bad about the Red Sox.

Being less motivated than LeBron James in an elimination play-off game.

Smoking a joint and not laughing at America's Funniest Home Videos.

Watching "What About Bob?" as if Freud wrote it.

Being certain that everyone on the road is out there just to piss you off.

Allowing whims to control most of your day and actions.

Not feeling good for no good reason.

Having less interest in sex than Rosie O'Donnell at a Chippendale's weenie flop.

Finding no joy in the things that should light up your day; like getting an extra chicken wing in your 3 piece meal.

"I'm down....really down....how can you laugh when you know I'm down."

The Beatles

Where Is The Leadership? Where Is Common Sense?

Dicking Up Things For 18 Years, With More To Come

Yes, it's been awhile. I've been busy with other things that don't involve anything. Honestly, I've just been lazy and have not found a lot to laugh about in the past few weeks.

I have to ask; What the hell is going on?

And I don't mean just lately. You really never see societal change coming and I guess that's why we have not noticed that our political "leaders" have become anything but leaders. Sure, we have always had angry disagreements in politics, but now, we don't seem to  have any mutual respect. We fail to compromise for fear that we will look weak. I believe this has slowly evolved in us and has been handed down from the extreme activists in our politics. Nobody can stand to lose anymore. Everyone HAS to be right and wants to destroy, discredit, and dishearten those who are not like minded.

The past three presidential administrations have had good points and bad. But, they have all caused (or are causing) big problems for our country in favor of catering to big business, extremists, their party, their re-election, their legacy, short term success, and their inability to admit a mistake and change course.

Clinton (and I'll just use the presidents names instead of specifically pointing out the exploits of their underlings) insisted on mortgage lenders that they make so many loans available to those who would usually get turned down. Those who were questionable in their ability to afford a home. Well, that's not a bad idea in theory, but you can't set a percentage or what have you on how many loans are given. Everything should have been case by case. That was a situation that was never corrected and we wound up having to bail out mortgage companies and helped usher in our current recession. That was just plain irresponsible.

Bush, promised tax relief and we got it. Hooray!!! Great idea. We got attacked and the president did a good job of leadership in the aftermath. But, then we got ourselves into a situation we were poorly prepared for in Iraq. We had wars on two fronts. That's expensive. So, do we stop tax relief at that point to be resumed later? No, Bush continued to cut taxes, while trying to pay for two wars. Not to mention, he never met a spending bill that he would veto. He was a tax cut and spend Republican. A rare breed. And don't even get me going on the halt of federal funding for stem cell research. So, we started running budget deficits, after Clinton accomplished a surplus. I'm all for lower taxes, but additional cuts should not have been made after the first round.  

Now, Obama wants to continue down the path of throwing logic out the window. His administration is spending like a 22 year old lottery winner in Amsterdam. We are on pace to have a deficit larger than our economy. Our government is now in the banking and auto business. The man has played golf seven times since the BP oil catastrophe happened. Until recently, Obama had gone almost a year without having a full blown news conference. So much for governmental transparency and having one press conference every month, like he suggested while campaigning. I'll throw in that the Bush tax cuts will expire and there is a looming "credit crunch" coming. People are going deeper and deeper into debt, trying to survive by using their credit cards like Miley Cyrus buying short shorts on Rodeo Drive. Having taxes go back up will probably hurt the economy, but hopefully increase revenue that could help with all the government initiatives that Obama is rolling out.

Currently, we have millions of barrels of oil pouring into the gulf and nobody at the top took it seriously for six weeks. Louisiana is suing the federal government. The federal government is suing Arizona. Al Franken is a friggin' US senator. Sarah Palin is considered a serious candidate for president. The debt is sky rocketing. Military management is openly criticizing the current administration in the press. Lady Gaga is popular (and I still don't know who that is). Those states at the bottom of the economic and education rung have been there for a long time, with little hope of upward progress. Catholic priests are abusing kids and getting away with it. The media acts in concert with the politicians to spoon feed us what THEY think we need to know, instead of just presenting the truth. And Ryan Seacrest still gets work.

Our leaders are putting the screws to us.  We need a third and/or fourth party that is strong........in a bad way. But, the powers that be have done and will do all they can to keep that from happening. We will pay the penalty for having incompetent and careless leadership until we quit treating each other like enemies over political beliefs. We need compromise. We need leadership that will act according to the best interest of our nation and not just cater to his or her party, in hopes of acquiring more power.

Like it or not, we are being taken for the "proverbial ride", as Maude Lebowski would say. It's time that we have more movements like the "Tea Party" and even like the hippies in the 60's. We need change. I don't really believe we are going to find it in the Republican or Democrat parties. We elected change and it's been more of the same.

Turn out the lights the party's over they say that all good things must end

Let's call it a night the party's over and

tomorrow starts the same old thing again

Willie Nelson