Actresses I Hate (or really, really dislike)

There are some actors and actresses that absolutely turn my stomach when I see them in a movie. I think today, I'll focus on the women. Let's get it going, shall we?

I would prefer not to see anything with Rene' Zellwegger in it. I mean.....just look at her;

She perpetually looks like she is sucking on a lemon and she always plays whiny bitches. I can really do without her, but at times, I'm forced to see her. She is in a few good films (Appaloosa, Cinderella Man), but the less I see her, the better my outlook on life is. If I had only one wish, that wish would be to have a burlap sack full of warm shit to hit her in the face with. Yeah, I could probably use that wish better, but what the heart wants, the heart wants.

Then, there is Sandra Bullock;

There are millions of nerves in the human body and this goof jumps up and down on every one of mine. "The Blind Side" could be the best movie ever made, but I'm never gonna see it. I simply can't stand her. I would rather smash a hornets nest over my head and take a bath in paint thinner than to see Bullock in anything. I wish she would fade away and let Katherine Heigl become the new romantic comedy queen.

And now to Julia Roberts;

I'm going to go ahead and admit, up front, that I have seen the following films; "Thelma & Louise", "Erin Brokavich", and "Pretty Woman". In my defense, that was before I realized how bad I hated her. She is way overrated. She just plays the same person in every role she has. And she looks like she has clams laying on her face where her lips should be.

Angelina Jolie......"Wha Happund?" She used to look like this;

Now, she looks like this....or fairly close to it;

And this face would give the Joker a run for his money on the creep-o-meter;

I guess living with Billy Bob Thornton has its' disadvantages. To be honest, I can tolerate Jolie in small doses. But that doesn't excuse her from being a friggin' nut.

It's my belief that we need to see more Katherine Heigl, Elizabeth Banks, and Zoey Deschanel. But that's just me. There are some really great actresses today though. Kate Winslet, Meryl Streep, and Nicole Kidman are fantastic. And Anne Hathaway seems to be headed in that direction. For my movie going dollar, I would have to say that the best actress working today is probably Cate Blanchett.

That's all I've got.........for now.

Wal-Mart: You Get What You Pay For

Everybody wants to save money, right? Everyone wants to find the best deals to help maximize their hard earned dollars, especially in this time of financial crisis. Wages are stagnant, inflation is here (or coming), fuel prices continue to rise, and it's difficult to find a good paying job, that can support one person living on their own, let alone an entire family. The financial state of our country (the USA) and other nations around the world, didn't happen over night. Over time we have slowly allowed the erosion of US manufacturing and the ability to get high quality goods, because we have valued price over standards, consistency, and availability.

One of the better examples of this is Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart, as you all know, is the place to purchase damn near everything you need to get by in life. They offer up savings. They help you stretch your dollar. They employ a lot of people. That all sounds great, but when you look at what it's come at the expense of, maybe we are not getting such a good deal.

Now, I'm not going to argue with anyone who says that without Wal-Mart, we wouldn't get to laugh at people like this;

But, to the point, Wal-Mart is a big reason why manufacturing jobs are leaving our country.  I want to make sure that I'm understood. Wal-Mart is not the ONLY reason. But, it's a pretty big part of it. Our government has, for years, allowed US companies to expand into other countries and open up shop. That's all well and good, until they started shutting down manufacturing in the US. The bottom line is bigger if you can pay people less, not deal with unions, and get around environmental policies. So, why not make the goods in another country and then bring them back into the USA to sell to us? Allowing that to happen, without taxing these companies vast amounts, is a slap in the face to consumers and the working class alike. As I've stated in other posts, our politicians re-election campaigns are funded by many of these major companies, so why would they bite the hand that feeds them? Why refuse the perks and gifts that lobbyists bring? Why let a company put money into the campaign of an opponent? There really is no choice. It's a matter of the foxes running the hen house. 

Here is where Wal-Mart comes in. Most people do not realize that Wal-Mart actually dictates price points and space standards to manufacturers. If you want to sell your product at Wal-Mart, you must submit every bit of data about it to the Wal-Mart corporation for study. Wal-Mart will then let you know what changes are needed to be able to sell that product in their stores. Control is no longer in the hands of the manufacturers or even the consumers. It's up to Wal-Mart. It's their company, they can do whatever they want in regards to what they sell, right? Sure. They SHOULD have that right. But, because they have the right, doesn't make it right. Here is an example;  remember when anti-perspirant used to come in boxes? Wal-Mart was unhappy with the way they took up space on their shelves and with the prices. So, they required companies to get rid of the boxes. The producers did so. Now, that's not necessarily bad, but it simply shows the power that Wal-Mart has over how products are sold.

Another example is the Levi blue jean. An American brand. A brand that once stood for uncompromising quality. The Levi jeans that are cheap and available at Wal-Mart are not the Levi jeans we were buying at Sears or JC Penny years ago. Wal-Mart would not allow Levi to sell in their stores, because they were not priced "right". Levi was struggling financially and if they wanted to survive, they needed to be in Wal-Mart. So, they made changes. Levi-Strauss came out with a "signature" series of jean. They are made with lower quality material than other products from Levi. So, the customer satisfaction and the good name of Levi was thrown out the window. Levi had to compete, so they lowered their standard. You got a pair of jeans with the name Levi on them and you got 'em cheap? Good for you. But the only thing "Levi" about those jeans is the name. 150+ years of quality down the tube, so we could save $10. In 2003, Levi shut down all of their manufacturing in the USA and now the jeans are made in Latin America and Asia.

Wal-Mart is one of those companies that loves to talk about "Buy American!". How have they done in that regard? Poorly. VERY poorly. How can we buy American if all the products are made in China or Taiwan? If we expect t-shirts for 5 bucks or shoes for $12.99 it's not possible. For all the talk about the American way and pride in the US worker, Wal-Mart sure does do a lot of importing of goods. In the early 90's Wal-Mart was importing 6 billion dollars worth of products from China. By 2002, that number had risen to 12 billion dollars. By the year 2004, Wal-Mart was importing 18 billion dollars a year and that was 10% of ALL the goods imported from China for the entire United States.

The bottom line is, Wal-Mart wants to give you a bargain. In and of itself, there is nothing wrong with that. But, remember, it's coming at the expense of our nations workforce. Large corporations and companies don't need help in screwing us over, but that's just what Wal-Mart does. They want us to buy everything from them. And we seem to have agreed to do that. Demanding low prices has forced companies to make cheaper products and to have them made in other countries. Many of the people (or kids) making the products bought at Wal-Mart are working on slaves wages, under terrible conditions, and at the expense of water supplies and clean air. We are buying from Wal-Mart despite the fact that it's running us out of jobs.

How many people, realize that there are no more televisions made in the USA? RCA, Zenith sound American, but they are not. That's an entire industry where jobs could be had, but there are none. Radio Flyer wagons. Remember those? Almost every kid had one. Well, by 2004 they had moved all production to China. Up until 2010 Dell made computers in the USA. But they couldn't keep up with the competition, so they shut down their largest manufacturer in North Carolina and shifted the jobs to Asia. Mattel toys is located in California, but closed their last American manufacturing plant in 2002 and now over 60% of their products are made in China (as of 2007).

Wal-Mart is so big and so much a part of our culture now that it's not likely to change. We expect double cheeseburgers for a buck, radio headphones for $3, cola for 75 cents a two-liter, TVs for under $200, blue jeans for under $25, $10 DVD players and 10 gallon tub of peanut butter for $5. How many of us have stopped to think about why we are paying such low prices? We probably don't do that enough. We can't have high quality and high standards for pennies. We can't have valuable, good paying jobs when we expect to buy everything at a minimum price. We are Wal-Marting and voting our way into another economic depression. Think about the BP disaster last spring. The oil companies want record profits to put in the pockets of their shareholders. That's why they are in business. And we, the American public, want $1 a gallon gasoline. Everybody can't have everything they want. If we want cheap gas (and by the standards of the rest the oil purchasing world, we don't pay very much) then we have to accept that corners will be cut to bring that to us.

Here is what a leading sociologist, Gary Gereffi, from Duke University had to say in 2004;

Right. Well, Wal-Mart is a big part of this buyer-driven model of the world economy that exists today, but it's so much bigger than all of the other retailers together that Wal-Mart is almost single-handily shaping access to U.S. demand. It's really become the paragon company for the buyer-driven global economy. It's got the fate of many U.S. industries in its hands, and it's because Wal-Mart is able to make these concentrated decisions about where goods are going to be produced around the world. And if it wants to shift goods from different offshore locations, it can do it.

You can read the entire interview (which I highly recommend) by clicking on this link;

PBS Frontline on Wal-Mart & Our Changing Consumerism

Somewhere down the line, we have to give up quality of life, quality of the products we consume, and the quality of our nations strength in manufacturing, commerce, independence, and work force for those low, low prices. If you want a $5 t-shirt or a $10 DVD player, you simply have to accept that it's going to be made with cheap materials that are put together by people making $5 a day, while 1 in 10 of us don't have a job and  about 2 or 3 of the other 9 are struggling getting by on wages that have been stagnated by a slow down in consumption of quality goods, quality jobs, the want for politicians to retain power, and record bottom lines for large companies and major corporations.

I could go on with more. More about how Wal-Mart is running "mom & pop" places out of business, especially in rural towns. More about how they manipulate their employees hours and benefits to maximize the corporations bottom line. More about how small towns are having to rely on Wal-Mart as the only large scale employer. More on how much environmental damage is done so we can buy salmon and other fishery products on the cheap. More about how Wal-Mart takes out life insurance on its' employees.

Please, don't just take my word for it. Do some research. But, we are being price cut into poverty, as a nation and as a people. We need to regain our souls, sense of purpose, and sense of pride. Do your part and research what is really going on behind the scenes. FOX, CNN, MS NBC, and the major media outlets are not going to do anything to expand your awareness of what is happening to our way of life. You must expand your own awareness and consciousness. You must chip away at family and friends. Help them to see, even if it's in baby steps, just what is happening. This is no conspiracy theory. It's the truth. And the truth is just below the surface of our daily lives.

OK,  there's that......so, I'll leave you with just one more thing......

Whoops.....

Sorry, I meant to give you some links to read. Here you go;

Dead Peasant Insurance & Wal-Mart: Believe It Or Not

Live Better? Short YouTube video

Find Out More About "The Wal-Mart Effect"

Bad Business

The Wal-Mart Effect on Amazon.com

The High Cost of Low Price

Planning My FUN-eral

I had a conversation with my cousin awhile back. We were talking about our own demise and the subject naturally went to funeral services and how odd they really are when you step back and look at them critically. In our culture, we generally like to have a viewing. You know, we have the deceased laid out in a coffin and people come up and look at them and say nice things like; "Oh, he looks so good." or "She seems to be sleeping peacefully.".  Well, those are nice things to say, but really, the person doesn't look good or natural....they look dead. Yes, I do realize that the viewing is a comfort to some people and I don't want to play that down. Whatever works to help with grieving.

I suppose I just want my send off to be a little more about me and my life than I do about flowers, a pretty casket, and someone who doesn't know me talking about how everyone else feels about me and how I'm looking down smiling. If there is a place to be looking from, it's probably not going to be looking "down" for me, if you hear what I'm saying. I've always thought that the eulogy should be given by someone who knows the deceased. It just makes good sense. I'm sure in most cases that wouldn't be an easy thing for a grieving person, but by golly I want someone who has known me personally to talk about me.

With all that, I will outline and explain the way I want my funeral arrangements. Or, I suppose I should call it a FUN-eral.

First off, I hope I die in my sleep or fade away in a marijuana stupor while listening to a really good album, like "Tilt" by Scott Walker or "Evil Urges" by Morning Jacket, or "Donkey With A Limp" by Herb Alpert and The Tijuana Brass Band. But, like most people, I probably won't get to choose the time, place, or manner in which I go. Just please don't let it be like Elvis or that kid on "World's Greatest Dad".

Next up......burn me up. That's right. Don't stick me in the ground or in one of those brick walls that looks like a memorial to war veterans. Either way, after I'm gone nobody is going to want to walk up and stare at a rock with my name on it. What the hell does that accomplish? "Hey, here lies Freddy's rotting bones. Wish we could see 'em."  Nope, burn me up and put my ashes in some sort of can that has a lid on it. Don't lose the ashes, they will come up again later.

OK, I do not want, if at all possible, to have my "service" at a funeral home. They are sterile, impersonal, and who wants see some guy walking around with his finger tips pressed together, with a half grin, telling you how sorry he is for your loss and there are ham sandwiches and punch in the basement. No, rent out a space or one of you with a big house can host my farewell party.

Here is one thing that I really don't want......flowers. Come on, save the money or send the money you would have spent on flowers to some non-profit group that is trying to help abused or sick kids. Flowers die and they are just a huge waste of money. Just one more way to screw grieving people out of money.

Wherever my FUN-eral is, I want it to reflect my personality and life. Put up some pictures. My old ball glove. Pictures of my closest friends and relatives. Pictures of my favorite actors or ballplayers. A couple of books I loved. Any mementos that would remind people of things that I did or loved will be appropriate. Stuff that I liked, basically. Make the moment memorable by being able to remember me as I was. The pictures and items will also serve as conversation pieces. Because we all know that it's hard to come up with stuff to talk about. You never know what's OK to bring up or whatever. Hell, I want to be remembered, talked about for who and what I was. No need to sugarcoat anything.

Music is a very important part of my personality. Everyone knows my favorite bands; The Beatles, The Replacements, The Jayhawks, Waylon Jennings, Ryan Adams, Wilco, etc. So, I have a list of songs that I want playing during my FUN-eral and they are on my I-Pod, so you won't have to guess what songs I would have wanted played. I also love film. So, there can also be a small TV and DVD player running a couple of movies I loved like, The Godfather, The Big Lebowski, Almost Famous, or Faces Of Death (OK...just kidding about that one). I'm serious. Do it. If not film, put on Louisville winning the 1986 basketball championship.

If you wanna serve food, go for it. But no vegetables. Hot wings, pizza, stuff like that. Iced tea....sweet iced tea, is a must. Yes, Big Joe, you can have alcohol there. I prefer Buffalo Trace, Makers Mark, or Woodford Reserve be served over ice......NO cola or anything added to it. Only water or ice. If you want to be wimpy, drink Amaretto Sours or something like that. It also would be pleasing to have bowls of Reese's Pieces sitting around.

Here is where things will get a little dicey. I'm sure most of you will agree that the above is unusual, but really not out of bounds. Well, I'm getting ready to go out of bounds and if you don't like it, up yours, it's my big day, so don't come if you don't want to share in the fun. I would like for my eulogy to be given by a couple of people......or everyone. My first pick is for my cousin Chris. My second choice would be Nancy, my wife, but that is probably asking too much (as if the rest of this shit isn't, right?) I also wouldn't mind some of my friends who knew me at various times in my life to speak about what they loved or hated about me. Perhaps about things I had done, good or bad. People I would love to have chirp on my big day would include, but not be limited to; Larry B, Kristina, Joey W, Joe H, Jere', Craven, Randy C, and Matt T.

Next up on the creep-o-meter is that I would love to have a small, out of the way area, with my Darth Vapor set up and some really nice marijuana available (perhaps Northern Lights or Sour Diesel) to anyone who would like to get a little buzz on. Here goes nothing......the more adventurous types should have a small sprinkling of my ashes added in. Yep, I want a small portion of my ashes sitting right beside Darth Vapor. If someone feels the want (and, really why would you? I mean, I would probably do it, but I know that 99.9% would find that vulgar.....and I do understand it), they can invite me into their system and I'll be a part of them until their big moment comes along!

This needs to be a one day only event. No repeats, no refunds, no skipping, jumping, or running please. Take the ashes that were not smoked up to some place cool. Niagara Falls would be my very first choice. Dump my "asshes" in and let me roll over the falls and into oblivion. Next choice would be for my ashes to be poured out on the outfield grass at Fenway Park. If those things are not possible, give me to Walter Sobchak and let him distribute them into the bosom of the Pacific Ocean.

I know you guys think I'm having a laugh. But I'm not. All that stuff is for real. That's really how I want it to be. Just remember me and have a good time doing so, for one day. Much of my life was spent not understanding people or the world I lived in. I used to be depressed, hard headed, and judgemental. But that's not me anymore. I want people to enjoy their lives. I'm doing my best to enjoy mine. The above would really please me, if I were able to see what my own funeral would be like. My wife understands where I'm coming from on this. I love her and my kids with all my heart. My friends know that I love to have fun and share in laughter and amusement. So why shouldn't my last hurrah reflect my life? When I do go, don't feel bad for me. I'm prepared to go. The only regret I will have is that I don't have more breaths left to laugh with or more time for my eyes to look at my girls. We are all going towards the same end. Let's enjoy what we have now, the best we can, and give a great effort towards eliminating, forgetting, or ignoring all the shit we have to deal with that doesn't lead to our happiness or living a fulfilled life. Life can be fascinating and fun. So, let's do it that way and let the things we can't control blow in the wind.

Give me my freedom

For as long as I be

All I ask of livin'

Is to have no chains on me

All I ask of livin'

Is to have no chains on me

And all I ask of dyin' is to

Go naturally, only wanna

Go naturally

Blood, Sweat, & Tears

Vintage Christian Album Covers

I've wanted to do this for awhile and another blogger has pushed me into doing this now (thanks Mike!). I read a blog yesterday on Christian rock (like heavy stuff....Stryper, etc) and it got me to thinking about some of the bad album covers I have saved on my hard drive. So, I'm breaking some of them out. There are a few that simply need no caption. Then there are those that NEED captioning.

As I look at some of these covers, I have to wonder what the hell was the criteria for releasing an album in the 60's, 70's, and 80's? Could you just show up at a photo shoot with matching, bad clothes on, horn rimmed glasses, and a terribly false looking background? Are these albums as funny to listen to, as it is to view the album covers?

These covers create more questions than they answer. So to over analyze would be fruitless. Kind of like quantum physics. Once you think have one part of it figured out, there are 1,000 more questions to answer. Some times, there just are no answers to those burning questions. For example, why do most Christian women over the age of 45 wear the big bun hair style?

This is sort of a personal favorite. I found it several years ago and just couldn't get over the background. The sweater vests were obviously a bad idea, but what's with the barn in the distance? How much farming are they doing in those duds? Seems like showing a church in the background would have been more relevant. But really, nothing says spirituality like 3 eager guys, a woman, and a barn.

Not ashamed? I guess not. Look at that ride and those outfits. The Lord has been good to them and they have in turn put that grace to good use by purchasing what looks to be a Rolls Royce and some tuxedos with lapels that could serve as hang gliders. If not for the guitar and the words on the cover, this could almost serve as a late 70's prom picture.

I appreciate the simplicity of Father Robert White. He isn't going for the hard sale. Father White is rockin' "Moon River", and "Tiny Bubbles" with a bit of tact. Father White is obviously a rhythmic man. I have not heard this, but I'm guessing "Danny Boy" is probably his biggest hit. This album was a fairly huge hit for the Reverend. The follow up release "Beach Party Baptism" was both a critical and commercial failure.

Poor Freddie Gage. All his friends are dead. Apparently so was Freddie's sense of style. He has a wardrobe that Herb Tarlek and Cousin Eddie would be apprehensive about wearing in public.

Honestly, what the hell do you want from me on this one. Any way you slice it, this goes in a bad direction. I'm going to go ahead and assume that this kid released a Pink Floyd-esque concept album about his days as an altar boy. See....I told you this couldn't lead to a good place.

I'm thinking that these guys wanted in on the act too. Poor Greg Kendrick. His smokin' hot Beatles cut was bringing all the boys to the yard.

 Mike Adkins is a bird lover. He wants to be sure that whoever gave him the dove was properly thanked.

Where in the hell did all that hair come from. And no way that person on the right is a woman....no way. The Faith Tones released a string of albums in the 70's, but couldn't break out of the expectations of their fans. Their lesser known releases were "Jesus Abuse Me", "Jesus Pay Attention To Me", "Jesus Help Me", and "Jesus Are You Even Fucking Listening To Me?" and sold an average of 3 copies each. And on a side note, lead singer and slide guitarist Eshter Martin-Tong (the woman on the left, with dark hair) choked to death in 1988 while taking communion at a Unitarian Church in Brooklyn.

Ira had to be a millionaire record label owner, because there is nobody on this planet or in heaven (or in hell for that matter) that would be a part of this release from modern music icon Ira North. Some of the more notable songs on this record are "Take Me To The Kitchen", "What's For Dinner", and "Jungle Boogie". Ira was not done with the music business, as he put out two more albums after this debut, including "If I Were A Jew".

What kind of exploitation is this? The Singing Midget? Really? Are 50% of all backing bands named "The Crusaders"?

I'm going to wrap up with this one. First, these guys really have a bad sense of style. I mean, really, wearing white in hell? They are just asking for pinhole burns and sweat stains. And it's going to be a little hard convincing people Satan is real with that depiction. That's less scary than the South Park Satan. Hell, it's less scary than Sponge Bob. Unfortunately for us, this was the only official release for The Louvin Brothers. They both died of venomous snake bites trying to prove that spiritual healing "Is Real".

Alright......here's the encore. And I don't have much for this one, because anything I add to it, will diminish the hilarity. So, add your own caption or just gaze upon the elegance.

Addendum for C9!!!

You Might Be An A-Hole!

Awhile back some hillbilly comedian made a living off of the phrase "You might be a redneck if....". The beginning was always the same, but the punchline was usually something to the effect of "you have a couch and a fridge on your front porch."  Never hurts to poke fun at someone and rednecks are no exception to this. Today, I want to call out the assholes of the world. You may or may not be one. You may be aware that you are and you may not. Well, I'm going to give you a guide to help you identify the assholes in our world.

You might be an asshole if.......

*you buy $50 worth of lottery scratch-offs and insist on scratching them off right there at the register

*you carry on about how "gay" Dancing With The Stars is, but you TIVO every episode of Jersey Shore

*you bitch about the over paid cry babies in baseball while wearing a Yankees cap

*you drive a Hummer

*you call in to work and tell your boss "I have the shits." Come on now, make something up, like, you hit a water buffalo on the way in and your car is totalled.

*you tip a waitress more if she is good looking, as if she's going to blow you because you dropped an extra $2 on the table

*you carry on and on about how great your high school days were. Hey, nobody gives a shit but you. Grow up and get on with your life. The days of cruising for chicks at the Piggly Wiggly are in the rear view mirror.

*you say "I'm not racist but...." and then you go on to tell a "nigger" joke. Here's a tip....you ARE a racist, so keep in mind that the rest of us probably are not. The south lost. Get over it.

*someone calls you and it's obviously a wrong number and you just have to ask "what number did you dial?". Well, whose phone rang, idiot.

*you support treating animals humanely, but don't support homosexuals having the same rights as you have.

*you swear by MSNBC and NPR, but call FOX news biased.

*your name is Justin Bieber, Mitch McConnell, or Brett Favre.

*you hate, hurt, or kill because an ancient "holy" book tells you to. Hey, if you hate someone because of a god, you really need to stop and just think about that for a little while.

*you say "Cold enough for you?" or  "Hot enough for you?"  Is that really all you have to offer up as conversation?

*you blow up a bowl of chili in the microwave and leave it for someone else to clean. 

*you believe Eddie Vedder is a modern day Jim Morrison. They're both overrated puds.

*you are a smoker who insists on pitching their butts out the car window.

*you stare at the menu at McDonald's and say "Ummmmm....." Hey, it's Mc-Friggin'-Donalds. Get a number 3 and get on with your life. What are you looking for, a wine list?

*you call Trekkies nerds, but your web handle is "R2D2Fan" or "Nerf Herder"

*you have personalized plates that start out "TOO" or "2". No, you are not too cool, bad, or sweet. You are a dip shit.

*you voted for Ralph Nader, but think Ron Paul is a crackpot

*you choose 10 minutes into film at a movie theater to start talking to your friend about a boil you found on your ass. Shut up. I wanna watch the movie I just paid $38 to see along with my popcorn and small pop

*you write a blog telling your 3 or 4 readers what is wrong with everyone else in the world (whoops)

There are a thousand more of these, but I thought I'd share just a few with you. Feel free to add any in the comment section below. I reserve the right to change, add or delete any of the above. Especially if I'm guilty of violating any of them.

I use public toilets and I piss on the seat

I walk around in the summertime saying, "How about this heat?"

I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)

I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)

Asshole Song---Dennis Leary