Seeing A Man About A Dog At Work: A survivors guide

I'm not gonna shit you here, this topic is crap. Yes, it's not something everyone wants to talk about
but it's something we all have to do sooner or later. The topic is......public pooping. I'm not going into
any detail about the actual act of pooping. We've all been there and done that. After this, there
should be no more poop topics. This should be left in the water closet.

Nobody wants to follow a pooper into the bathroom. Most of us just want to piss, wash off our hands
(well, most of us anyhow), and get the hell out of there. At work, it's just really most uncomfortable of all
situations. They can see your feet, you can see theirs and everyone is exposed. You know who is
pooping and the pooper knows that you know that he/she is pooping. It can make for an awkward
moment if not an awkward day.  You just can't walk in and walk right back out, then you have to hold
your piss, and others then know that you are holding your piss like a 5 year old trying to get through
an episode of  "Dora The Explorer" without wetting themselves.  And if you go right in afterwards, you
may have to do that  "gas mask" move where you pull your shirt up over your nose and mouth, thus
stretching out your shirt, and who wants to trash their "2004 Red Sox World Champions" t-shirt to
the car wash pile?

We are a civilized society and we like to think of ourselves as progressive. So why don't we have a
system in place that will allow others to know when you are strolling in to survey your kingdom on
the porcelain throne? There should be a signal or a place on the door to say "Enter At Your Own
Risk" or "Have A Heart, Let Me Poop In Peace". And another thing, if I'm at work and my co-worker
gets to take 30 or 40 minutes to poop, shouldn't I be compensated in a similar fashion with a
break? How about a nappy? Between smoking and pooping, some people only have to work about
2 hours out of an 8 hour shift. When's gonna be my time, oh Lord? When's gonna be my time!? Getting paid to poop almost makes it a profession! I have to start eating more bran.

One more friendly tip: If you do have to work poop, don't come out giving a blow by blow account or
description. We don't need a FOX News Alert from Sean Hannity about your dookie pushing.

Myself, I don't like public pooping. I'd rather walk in on someone performing beastiality than walk in
on a pooper. And nothing is worse than when you HAVE to poop at work and someone grabs the
stall door and shakes it. "Hey, leave me alone, jackass...I'm pounding one out, find another drop off
point, this one is reserved!" I'm all for comfort, I have the paper I want at home and I can be as
demonstrative as I have to be to get the job done effectively and efficiently. You people should train
yourselves to drop the kids off at the pool on your own time. Leave the rest of us alone when you are
delivering the brown baby. Go in the morning and/or at night. For God's sake, someone had to say
all this, I'm just sorry it was me.

I'm going to help you public poopers out by posting a set of rules and terms for getting through your
dirty work. The following "survival guide" is not mine. It can be heisted all over the internet. But it's a code that each of us should try to follow, when we take the Browns to the Super Bowl.

 

Work Poopers Survival Guide

click the link

More on the Catholic scandals

Pat Condell: Is Satan a Catholic?

(noted YouTube.com video blogger breaks down the Catholic church and its' sins in the past 1,000 or so years)

 

Any time I find a well written article or a pertinent video, I'm going to post it for anyone who is interested. I want to reiterate that I'm not picking on the rank and file Catholics. But, Catholics who are not concerned or do not voice their concerns to their priests or move to withold thier tithes are as much a part of the problem as anyone else, and perhaps should re-evaluate whether their loyalty lies with their God or with a man in a funny hat. If the members of the church, world wide, do not cry out, why should the Vatican give in to public pressure? 

Seems like one of the Pope's henchmen blames homosexuality for the molestation of children and not the repression of sexual desire. That's bogus. There have been plenty of little girls that have been raped and abused, so blaming homosexuals doesn't float.  And the Vatican knows this, man!

 Vatican backs off cardinals claims about homosexuality

Well, if the "fags are to blame" justifications won't work, move on to another group to put the blame on. Yep, the Jews. Apparently the evil Jews are trying to bring the church down with all these slanderous allegations. 

Bishop blames the Jews for this mess 

Instead of finding other people to pin some sort of blame on, all the church leadership has to do is walk into any bathroom, go to the sink and look up......right into a mirror. 

Once again, I can't stress enough how important and timely this documentary is. It makes the abuses and rapes more personal. You can see the church in action, protecting the abusive priests (or rapists, as I like to call them), and ignoring the concerns of the abused.

Deliver Us From Evil: Must See TV

Soccer Suuuuuuucks!!!!!

Soccer Sucks!

Let's face facts. Soccer is never going to be a popular spectator sport in the USA. Argue with me all you want, but you will be wrong. Sure, a lot of kids play soccer. But, when they grow up, they play football, basketball, or baseball, because with age comes wisdom. The good athletes with no hand/eye coordination will continue to play soccer, drink exotic coffee at Starbucks and quote Eddie Vedder like he's Shakespeare. That person will probably drive a Volvo, with "Save The Sea Monkies" and "Don't Blame Me I Voted For An Inconsequential Nader" bumper stickers.

Soccer just isn't fun to watch. It's, for lack of a better term, amuck! Sure, you can tell who's on what team, but at times, it's like they are all on the same team and the goal of the game is to not have any goals. If I see an MSL score (and why should I?) crawl across the bottom of the screen on ESPN 6.5, and that score is 2-0 with 187 minutes to go, I know that it's a blowout and there is no way the team with no goals can win. It's an unsurmountable lead! But, sometimes, when that 187 minutes (and that's just the regulation time of the 2nd half) runs out, they will add more time to the clock! What the hell???? Who does that? It's cruel and unusual that there even IS soccer, let alone they add minutes when the match should be over!  Did the Phillies get another inning after Joe Carter hit the homer of Mitch Williams?  Did the Rams get a fresh set of downs and time put back on the clock when Torry Holt just missed getting into the end zone against the Patriots? No, they lost, and they went home.

And speaking of losing and going home.....it's not OK to incite mayhem, panic, looting, and destruction because your team won or lost a "match". These "hooligans" are morons. First, because they actually care about soccer and second because they don't mind having their skull caved in by a pick axe to prove it.

I have to pick on this too.......no sport should EVER end in a tie. That includes NFL football. But soccer takes it to a new level because they actually have as many ties as wins and loses. How do you run around expending all sorts of energy for hours on end and have the damn game end in a tie? Where is the pay off? How in the hell can a person become a fan of a game that can produce a games worth of highlights in less than 2 seconds? Because if it's not a goal, there is NOTHING else to show.

Hey, bouncing the ball off your head is NOT cool. It's the kind of thing that if it happened to you in grade school, it would have an effect on your social life until you were put in your coffin. And even then people would say "Yeah, he was a total tool, he used to bounce a ball off his head all the time." It's almost as bad as Haki Sak, but not quite. To finish up, I'll tell you how I really feel. I know I'm not alone in this sentiment; I would rather have a character created by Rob Zombie slam the business end of a claw hammer into the back of my head and drag me through Death Valley, while I'm being slowly picked at and eaten by buzzards, coyotes, and the band "Skid Row", rather than watch soccer.

Here is a list of things that SUCK, but are still, somehow, better than soccer; the aforementioned Haki Sak, the comedy stylings of Rita Rudner or Margaret Cho, brussel sprouts, drowning in your own vomit, the movie "Cabin Boy", the song "Wind Beneath My Wings", reality TV, the Kansas City Royals, "starring William
Shatner", Juliette Lewis, Tesla, mowing the grass, grout work in the bathroom, food poisoning, working double shifts in a South American sweatshop manufacturing Nike's and Fruit Of The Loom products for 19 cents an hour and all the warm water you can drink, standing in line at the DMV, anal fissures, and finally, impotence.

New Content Soon!!!

I've taken a bit of time off from writing. I do have some new stuff though that will be up soon. One blog I'm excited about is my interview with guitarist Greg Clagget. Greg is a musician from Louisville that has had pretty good success in the music business, and is currently working on some new stuff.

I also intend to do a review or two of some of my favorite pieces of media (which means movies and/or music), and hopefully that will influence some of you to give some new stuff a try!

I was talking with a friend at work the other day and he wanted some advice on how to handle a situation at home. He said to me "Freddy, my wife wants me to give up smoking marijuana. She said it's too expensive. " So, I told him to tell her "So is a divorce."

Take care, be back soon!         FREDDY

Hey, if you are a priest.....try not to have sex with kids.

UPDATED AGAIN!!!  4/3/10
This is a story that will not and should not go away. The pressure from the media is not as great as it should be, but at least some news sources are not letting the Pope, the Vatican, and the Catholic Church off the hook. I find it revolting that Catholics all over the world are not cutting off their tithes and demanding that their leadership come clean and agree to make public and prosecute ANYONE (Pope Benedict included) who was involved in molestation, coercion, or the cover up of these despicable crimes against children. If we can't trust the top of the church to come clean, why are they worthy of relevance? Why are they worthy of your hard earned money? Why are they worthy of an iota of respect? Every time that there is a social crises on this planet, the Vatican has a comment. Oddly (and sadly) enough, the Vatican remains silent on the pedophilia charges. 
There has to eventually be line that can't be crossed by religion. I hear all about how the religious need to be respected, supported, and given a favored status by our government. Well, that's all good and fine, but a priest raping a child is NOT part of the deal. At that point, you deserve punishment and to be called out. If there is a God, I don't think raping children is something that would be on the Holy To Do List. Check out these links.....get pissed about this. Send an email to the Pope. Will it do any good? Probably not. But if enough people in the world are outraged and demanding answers, this thing won't be swept under the rug!


The Pope's Email:  benedictxvi@vatican.va
The Vatican Will Not Be Intimidated! 

Vaticans sex abuse hotline, melts down!!! 

Scandal going global! 




 
UPDATED---3/30/10
*updates in RED*

Louisville priest sexually abuses a child....go figure 

 click the link above for the story

For those interested, there is an excellent documentary called "Deliver Us From Evil", and it outlines how the church leadership ignored a California priests child abuse for years. They even moved him to different churches every time a new allegation was brought forth. You can read more about the content of the documentary at the links below. If you have Netflix, the documentary is available.

IMDB: Deliver Us From Evil

Amazon: Deliver Us From Evil

There doesn't seem to be a week that goes by without my having to hear about sexual abuse on children. Most of the coverage seems to center around priests and more precisely, Catholic priests. I don't know if there is anything a human being could do that is worse than harming a child.

Why is it so prevalent? And yes, 4% of 110,000 priests that were found to be abusers (between 1950 and 2002) is a large number, no matter how much damage control is done. One child being abused by one priest is one too many. These people are in a position of trust and if there is any place that SHOULD be safe for kids, it's around Christians, right? Especially Christians who maintain a high place in the church.

Obviously, it's a mental illness. Nobody would get into the priesthood or become a pastor with the intent of getting to molest kids......at least I really hope nobody has. So, I don't want to be unfair by not acknowledging the mental illness aspect. Before the media caught on and before children felt safe to really come out in the open and talk about the abuse, it got very little attention from the church itself....and by church, I mean the Catholic church (although Catholics are hardly alone in this). Priests when accused were simply moved to another city and there many of them would go right on with the abuse. For decades (and probably centuries) abuse was basically hidden by Rome. We had mentally ill clergy buggering kids and Rome did all they could to hide it and turn away from serious investigation, punishment, or rehabilitation. So, the question I have is; How in the hell is there still a Vatican, a Pope, or any Catholic hierarchy remaining?

The whole operation should have been dismantled and thrown on to the scrap heap. I'm not talking about the rank and file Catholic. I'm talking about the leadership and the top of the organization. I pretty much know the answer to my question and the answer is power. The church is so powerful, that it can pretty much get away with anything. Hell, the chirpings of the Pope has been known to turn elections, cause riots, and stymie scientific study. Why does anyone put any kind of trust or faith into an institution that has allowed so much pain and suffering to go on without addressing it? All one has to do is research the Dark Ages and read about all the horror that the church caused, not to mention holding back advances in medicine and other sciences, for over 1,000 years. If, in modern times, the Catholic church would cover up sexual abuse of children, what won't they hide? There is absolutely no reason to have respect for any of the governing bodies of the Catholic church. It's 2010 and it's time we moved on from such things.

Is there any doubt that God is rolling over in his grave? A large number of his representatives harming children? Well, anyone with the good sense to learn about the Inquistions, Crusades, Jewish history, and Islamic fundamentalism and its' origins, knows that abuse, torture, and killing is simply par for the course when it comes to religion. But this is the modern age and the fact that this kind of thing is happening to children to this day is revolting and the fact that there is really very little in the way of outrage over this is almost as revolting.

Just so nobody thinks I am bitching without a solution, here is something that may help.......let priests have sex and get married, without it being a sin against a God who people still fear is wagging his finger at them from a few thousand years ago. Sex is a natural part of the human life. It's is INSANE to deny that to any consenting adults. Heaven forbid that you spank the monkey once in awhile to relax your mind or ease tension. No.....wouldn't want to spill any "seed" now would we? For crying out loud.......just think about what people (and maybe yourself) believe sometimes. It's ignorant, out dated, and shameful to rely on pretty much anything handed down by Catholic hierarchy as having any sort of value to modern society.

Some links for those interested in being pissed off or enlightened......

CNN Report on church abuse (2004)

The Inquisition

The Crusades

The Dark Ages