Waylon Jennings : I've Always Been Crazy (about this record!) REVISED

 Waylon Jennings "I've Always Been Crazy"

REVISION: I have done some "quasi" reviews of albums over the years when the mood has struck me in between some political and personal rants and stories....but anyone that knows me or knows this blog at all, knows that I live for music and I don't want to insinuate that this is a "review". I am not judging this record. It's more like a string of thoughts and interpretation weakly weaved together. This is about what I hear and what it means to me. 

I listen to this album several times a year and also hit individual tracks from it quite often on my Waylon or country playlists. For some reason this album really hit me the other night while listening and this is after having heard this thing probably a hundred times in my life. I have it both on CD and vinyl, but had the vinyl on when I got a bit of inspiration over it. The record was from my dad's collection, which he gave me a few years before he died. Waylon, along with Jimmy Buffett, Pink Floyd, and Neil Young was very special to him. He "got on" with what Waylon was doing. I didn't just inherit his records, I also inherited a lot of his tastes as those are also artists dear to me as I approach 60 years of age. 

At any rate, this record was released at the end of the 70's as Waylon's reign as the king of outlaw country was winding down. Almost as if by choice, he was closing out the "Outlaw Movement". This album has a song called "Don't You Think This Outlaw Bits Done Got Out Of Hand?"....if that doesn't clue anyone in to where his head space was, nothing will I suppose. I don't want to pretend that what I am writing is the end all be all of what this album is about. I am writing and thinking from my perspective and interpretations. I have an affinity for the man's music and I will probably wander into making some mythology for myself. So be it. It's done from a love of the music and this album as a snapshot in time, but not dated. Yeah, it's art. 

OK, so admittedly, I was a bit high listening, but I believe that only enhanced my thinking as each track went by. Three of the five songs on side 1 were penned by Waylon. They all feel very personal and seem to approach areas of some frustration and trying to set a few things straight. You really couldn't lead off with two better songs; "I've Always Been Crazy" and the aforementioned "Don't You Think....". They really make a statement and set the tone of the record. Autobiographical and real. The truth. The record starts off aggressively, before giving way to some sentimentality and almost a "good bye" to the persona that was thrust on him, fairly or not. Maybe mostly in fairness. 

"Billy" was written by Tony Joe White. If you didn't know better, you would swear Jennings was singing to his "outlaw" buddy Willie Nelson. It truly feels like a good bye, as if he is purposefully drifting away from the life that gave him his reputation. Settling in as a proper musician and giving more time to his wife Jessi Colter who would soon have a son, Shooter. Being on the road would likely start to look a little bit different. Being at home and/or with his family seemed like a better alternative to staying up for days on end and being a caricature. That's what I feel like you always got with this man....he was the real thing. He didn't play act. He shook the outlaw thing before it was able to shake him. If he was the motivation for the genre, well then it was his business to put it down. 

The next song "A Long Time Ago" has a lyric that is a direct response to a huge part of Waylon's and music in generals legend; "....don't ask me who I gave my seat to on that plane. I think you already know...." is pretty much putting to rest how he feels about the Buddy Holly/Big Bopper and friends tragedy. Why ask him questions you know the answers to? This is a track many music fans probably aren't overly familiar with, but it's my favorite on this album. A real gem in my opinion. 

The closing track of side one is "As the 'Billy World Turns". A song that sounds like he could have written it with Willie in mind, or perhaps I am creating my own myth surrounding the song. Light hearted in tone and pace, it depicts a songwriter asking his partner to throw a tune together with him. Maybe it will rhyme, maybe it won't. It's a fun shift in tone and sets the stage for side two. 

Flipping the record over, Waylon pays tribute to his old friend Buddy Holly with a medley of Holly's most popular songs and he brings along The Crickets to back him. While the rest of this album is produced by Waylon himself, along with his long time friend and drummer Richie Albright, the legendary Duane Eddy is taking the handle on these songs. Before going further, a word about Richie Albright. To me, he is a legend. My dad was a drummer and a big music fan and the only drummers I ever heard him talk about over and over were Danny Seraphin, Charlie Watts, and Richie Albright. I had the pleasure of brief exchange with Mr. Albright in Louisville (at the now defunct Jim Porter's Goodtime Emporium) some years back while he was touring with Shooter. I made sure I told him how much my father thought of him and how that was handed down to me. OK, moving on. This medley, comprised of "Well Alright", "It's So Easy", "Maybe Baby", and "Peggy Sue" get the Jennings treatment. You know...that thing he does where he tends to reshape a song in a subtle manner, but in such a way that he takes some ownership of it. You just don't hear the songs again, without at least thinking of his version. This is a fantastic listen and makes me wonder if this isn't the direction Holly would have taken had he lived. He was a Texan and one has to believe that he would have leaned into bringing that sound and attitude to his music more and more as he had aged. Maybe? Regardless, it's a fantastic tribute to his friend.

The next two songs are covers also, and he places two legendary singer/songwriters in their rightful place with Buddy Holly. These songs don't really distance him from the "outlaw" thing as they have the "feel", but are both distinctly mainstream and perhaps, at the time, the most notable songs from Johnny Cash and Merle Haggard. Cash's "I Walk The Line" is slowed down here. A much more patient rendition, but he lets go of that famous Waylon vocal styling at the 2:10 mark and seizes the song and elevating the spirit and feeling. The style would fit into any Friday night honky tonk's cover bands set list. 

"Tonight The Bottle Let Me Down" really seems like an attempt to "steal" the song from Haggard. He doesn't change up the pace much, but his distinctive voice and style at least arm wrestles with the Haggard version. He even tells Merle to "eat his heart out" and the Waylon guitar picking is right there in the mix. A fun song. A true classic. 

The next track (Girl I Can Tell) was written by Fred Carter (guitarist for Waylon) and Jennings and is a melancholy song about a woman growing up in her relationship. I don't consider this song "filler" by any stretch because I don't feel like there is any space wasted on this album, but it's the track that is most likely to be forgotten if I am discussing the record and maybe because it gives way to another melancholy type song that is tremendously written (multi-talented artist Shel Silverstein) and performed. Whistlers and Jugglers. Waylon performs it almost as a waltz in tempo at times. Poignant and a fitting way to top off the album. The protagonist of the song is in some ways a mirror image of Waylon. Doing her own thing, a bit of a rebel that doesn't go in for cozying up to the "haves". 

In all, I just really feel like this album had a purpose. Intent. Maybe not quite a "concept album", but a album that is conveying a message. The songs seem to be arranged in such a way as to take you through Waylon Jenning's mindset as the 70's were coming to a close and a less raw version of country music was emerging. A safer version of country music. Hopefully my interpretations were not a mile off the mark, but I just feel like I had to get this stuff out. I wanted to talk about the record. It puts me in a certain mood listening to it and some of it involves feeling like Waylon was taking some stock in his life at this point and turned it into a piece of artistic expression that's as good as anything he's ever done. 

Thanks for hanging in here if you made it this far. Peace. 

The 2026 3 Albums A Week Challenge; June

        June

2026 Album Challenge (Home Link)

The Replacements - Dead Man's Pop

Format: Vinyl

Stereo

Notes: This is the "Matt Wallace" mix of the Don't Tell A Soul album and just like "Let It Bleed", this is now my definitive version of the album. It's stripped away some of the layered guitars which really dated the record and brought Westerberg's vocals more to the front. The little nuances, like the banjo on "Talent Show" have been unearthed and the overall feel of the record is more in line with what one would expect of this band. "I'll Be You" and "Achin' To Be" are big hits in an alternate universe. 

The 2026 3 Albums A Week Challenge; May

       May

2026 Album Challenge (Home Link)

Glen Campbell - Wichita Lineman

Format: Apple Music

Fiio FT-1 Headphones

Notes: A great, but dated, album from one of country/pop music's finest voices and guitar players. Campbell was one of the kings of the 70's and this record is a showcase of his talents. Favorites are the title track, along with "The Straight Life" and "Dreams of the Everyday Housewife". 

The 2026 3 Albums A Week Challenge; APRIL

April

2026 Album Challenge (Home Link)

Johnny Blue Skies (aka Sturgill Simpson) - Passage du Desir

Format: CD

Stereo

Notes: An easy listening album. A definite departure from "Sound & Fury" with a laid back vibe that sort of reminisces on past love and embracing the present. A lot of Gordon Lightfoot and Jimmy Buffett weaved in. 

The 2026 3 Albums A Week Challenge; March

 March

2026 Album Challenge (Home Link)

Johnny Blue Skies (aka Sturgill Simpson) - Mutiny After Midnight

Format: YouTube

Stereo

Notes: I was expecting to listen to this in March, but not as early as the 2nd. The release date is officially the 13th, but Sturgill did his usual wildcard thing and put it up on YouTube for the masses. It's an easy score for Simpson (or Johnny Blue Skies by his alter ego) with me as I haven't heard anything yet from him that I didn't care for. This one is a kind of a mix of Sound & Fury and his last record Passage du Desir. You will find the occasional "country" note here and there but this is mostly a mixture of pop, soul, and disco. Not quite a jam record, but it does take the opportunity at times to cut loose. On my first couple of listens, I really like it. Early favorites are "Don't Let Go", "Stay On That" and "Ain't That a Bitch". 

The 2026 3 Albums A Week Challenge; FEBRUARY

 FEBRUARY

2026 Album Challenge (Home Link)

The Eagles - One of These Nights

Format: CD

Fiio FT-1 Headphones

Notes: Probably my favorite Eagles album, with apologies to the great Hotel California. They were transitioning on the spectrum from near country to near pop. Nominated for four Grammy's and winning one, it was another in a succession of top notch albums. Favorite tracks are "Lyin' Eyes" and "After The Thrill Is Gone". 

The 2026 3 Albums A Week Challenge; JANUARY

JANUARY 

2026 Album Challenge (Home Link)

Kicking off the challenge with a few favorites that I grew up listening to through my dad and his vinyl collection, which I have inherited. I have taken recommendations from friends, and I will definitely be getting to those as I move along throughout the year. Any photos I include will be plucked from the web unless I signal otherwise. 

Pink Floyd - Dark Side of the Moon

Format: Vinyl (original) 

Stereo

Notes: One of my favorite albums ever and I inherited this record from my dad. He played it a lot when I was a child, but the record has been taken care of and still sounds fantastic after all the decades that have passed. I have this on several formats including Atmos/5.1, so it's an album I go back to frequently. 

2026 New Year's Resolution / Challenge

 

2025 is probably the first year I have ever kept up with a resolution. Not even probably....it's definitely the first time. I had read last year about a guy that was going to watch 5 movies a week throughout the year. I am a movie lover, but I thought 5 might be asking a bit much, so I decided I wanted to do that challenge also, but would go with averaging 3 a week, each month. Meaning, I had to watch at least 12 movies every month. I couldn't "catch up" the next month, so if I only got in 11, then the challenge would be failed. 

There are still a few days left in 2025 and I'm sure I will watch a movie or two before we hit 2026, but as it stands, I have watched 235 different movies (including concert films), with a few "Peanuts" specials thrown in there. That's an average of almost 20 a month. My strongest months were January and October. January, I attribute to the early anticipation of wanting to start out right, kind of like people do when they promise to hit the gym. October is a big month for me traditionally due to my love of horror films, and I hit 30 movies that month. 

My weakest months were August (14) and September (13), and November (15), so I definitely tailed off the last half of the year. That said, I was able to make it! 

Now, what should I do for 2026? Hmm...I got it, how about 3 albums a week. That should be no problem at all. Perhaps I could do 5, as I probably do 2 or 3 a week right now, without even thinking about a "challenge" or "resolution". I suppose, I will just keep it at 3, or make sure I hit at least 12 every month. Yep, that's it. 

I have requested a few friends to suggest 3 albums each to me that I will randomly put into the rotation through the year. That will help me be a bit more eclectic in my experiences and challenge my tastes. At any rate, I used the "Clap" app last year to track my movie watching, but so far, I can't find anything exactly like "Clap" for albums, but I think "Musicboard" will probably work. 

I am going to track the music on this page weekly or monthly, depending on when I get around to it. Not sure anyone would care about what I'm listening to, but I thought it would be a good exercise to document my favorite art form (music albums) as I move through the year. I am not sure about any limitations (or rules) that I will put into place.....anything that is an "official" release by an artist or label will count, but I am inclined to leave out any "best of" or soundtracks. I will also try to keep up with the format I listen on and if I use headphones or not. I will not be counting albums I listen to at work or as "background". If I don't give it my full attention, it won't count towards my 3 per week. 

I have a modest "enthusiast" 5.2.2 stereo set up. Denon receiver, Audio-Technica turntable, Technics CD player, JVC cassette deck with Polk towers up front and Klipsch speakers to the rear and height. My 2 subs are Sony. For streaming, I use Apple Music and can run Atmos through my system using an Apple TV box. 

I will provide a link to each month below. Let the fun begin!!!

January Album List

February Album List

March Album List

April Album List

May Album List

June Album List

Running On Empty

I feel like writing about this song, "Running On Empty" by Jackson Browne. It's been heavy on my mind for the past couple of months. I guess I could say "not sure why", but I am not going to pretend that it doesn't hold some sort of meaning for my psyche or where I feel like I am in life and trying to make sense of getting older. 

Some know, some don't, but my dad chose to take his life a few years ago. We were not exactly estranged, but we weren't exactly close. The relationship was complicated for reasons that don't really matter in context of the writing I am doing. There is no need to get into that very deeply, but he holds a place in what the song means to me and why I feel impacted by the lyrics. 

His timeline coincided with the lyrics of the song. In '65 he was 17. In '69 he was 21. I never got the sense he was satisfied with his life or how it played out. Like there was something he was consistently missing out on. He would change his life several times. He would want to be Jimmy Buffett, then Neil Young, and then Waylon Jennings.....chasing something other than what he had. 

My dad wasn't much of a Jackson Browne fan and to be honest, outside of about 10 songs, I can't say I am either. Just never made that move, diving into his music. I certainly respect his songwriting ability and those handful of songs, I really do enjoy, but let's stick with the task at hand; "Running On Empty", which I consider to be a masterpiece of a song. The music flows well, it's catchy, the lyrics are really on point, and Browne has the only voice that should ever sing it.  

So, why does my dad tie into this, a song that I am wanting to explore from my point of view? Well, he spoke highly of this particular song and when it came on, and we were together, he never failed to make mention of how he felt in tune with it. I didn't really get it. Yeah, I love music and feel very emotionally attached to a lot of bands, albums, and songs, but I didn't really "GET" what he felt. I think I do now. Maybe. At 56, I have been coming to grips with a couple of things; I am going to die, sooner rather than later and time will strip away the people and places you have attachment to. Life has been rushing by and I only now have started understanding it's like a road. Plowing forward, never really sure of the destination. Well, not sure until you realize that the road has an eventual end, if not a destination.

At 17, he was close to being married......at 21, just a few years later, he was married and I was a year old. Life changed fast for him at that age, but it was all in front of him. Adult life. It was the start of his real journey. You don't know that you should be clinging to childhood while it's happening. You spend the first 15 or so years in a state of learning and a carefree existence. You don't yet have your wheels on the pavement. You are still in the middle of feeling that childhood even as you are becoming an adult with responsibility gaining on you. 

It's only when you reach a certain age that you say "Oh shit.....it's here. Life is here. Time is not on my side the way it once was." At different times you take stock the best you can. Knowing that you were too young to appreciate what it meant to have youth. "Youth is wasted on the young" as the man in a great movie once said. So, what we can do is stop and see where we are now. At 40. At 50. At 60. At 70. In my case at 56. Closer to 60 than 50. Where did that time go? Regrets are useless unless you can make amends for any pain you have caused. For the things you can't "fix", you have to let it go, but not really. They will visit. In the middle of the night or at times when you are alone and perhaps digging into some music that brings up a memory that perhaps would be best left buried. We have to let those things go. The things we can't do anything about. Pray, meditate, do a little Gestalt work.....whatever it takes to put those things (the demons?) to rest. 

The flip side is taking stock of it all and where are we going to go from here. To this point, I have mixed up the personal with the figurative "we". The "we" that may have commonality on those things. Hell, if that's not you, stop reading. It's OK. Don't create concern, worry, or thought that isn't a positive. 

Looking out at the road rushing under my wheels

Looking back at the years gone by like so many summer fields

'65, I was 17 and running up 101

I don't know where I'm running now, I'm just running on

Running on (running on empty)

Running on (running blind)

Running on (running into the sun)

But I'm running behind

Life will pass you by. Browne immediately takes stock in it from the opening lyrics. It's rolling on and you can't hit the brakes. He is on a path, but he doesn't know where it will eventually lead. Do any of us? You start having the realization that the road is going to end, but we are all running hard, chasing the sun and that sun is eluding us. Always in the distance, as if it's a destination. He didn't care at age 17, didn't give it a thought. The road went on forever. 

Gotta do what you can just to keep your love alive

Trying not to confuse it, with what you do to survive

'69, I was 21 and I called the road my own

I don't know when that road turned into the road I'm on

Running on (running on empty)

Running on (running blind)

Running on (running into the sun)

But I'm running behind

Growing into adulthood, responsibility takes hold. You get into the "I have to" pretty quick. I have to get a job, because I have to pay for the house and I have to take care of my wife and child. The carefree road of 17 has changed, no longer can you be carefree. You still don't know where you are going to go ultimately. What will life bring? It's all in front....still chasing the sun. Not catching up. You grab material, you grab relationships, you start making sacrifices for comfort. You settle in a little. 

Everyone I know, everywhere I go

People need some reason to believe

I don't know about anyone, but me

If it takes all night, that'll be all right

If I can get you to smile before I leave

At some point, we start understanding that it's life. This is what is happening for everyone, to varying degrees. We search for meaning in our loves, possessions, work......we are in the middle of it all. Browne recognizes that and states it with "people need a reason to believe", but immediately follows up with "i don't know about anyone but me", recognizing that he's not sure that everyone else feels the way he does and doesn't want to speak for them and comes to the point of knowing his best life is being a positive presence. I have only recognized that in the last few years. I have tried to change my persona. My internal "Freddy" can sometimes feel different than what I project. I have awoken to the realization that the only thing I will really leave is how those that knew me will think of me and even how they feel or think about me now. The need to be better, despite any external stimulus and events. Make a positive impact and make certain those that I love know that I do care for them and love them. I don't have a lot left in the tank, but it's enough to make people feel better about their lives and who they are. Be the things I have gotten and try to be the things I needed, but perhaps didn't get. 

Looking out at the road rushing under my wheels

I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels

Look around for the friends that I used to turn to to pull me through

Looking into their eyes, I see them running too

I started realizing a short time ago that the road (life) is rushing under my wheels....I am still plowing on towards the sun that I seem to never catch up to. When I finally do, it will be setting, won't it? I don't know how to make sense of it all, other than to take stock. Part of that taking stock is hitting me a little harder than I thought it might. My grandfather built his families home when I was a baby. The house is "home" to me, even though I only lived there for short periods of my life. He hand dug the basement. He built it solid. He made it to please my grandmother and did it out of love and to make sure she had a solid foundation and surroundings to raise a family. That's leaving. The house is being sold. It's the right thing. It's time for someone else to love the house, the property and forge memories around it. It's time for new people to love it. My family and I will be ghosts. 56 years of ghosts that the new owners won't see. They won't know the love, the hardship, the pain, the hugs, tears, kisses, and arguments that made that place home and a factor in lives that still move on. Soon, it will all be memory...like it wasn't already, right? 

I always had a fear that I wasn't keeping up. That my friends were adults with lives that they had carved out, knowing what was ahead and enjoying the moment. Like they had arrived. In recent years I have come to understand that they are sharing the same feelings I am. They are chasing the sun with life rushing past them too. Taking stock. Being uncertain. Still trying to find contentment. Waiting for a life to begin that they know already has and they just didn't hear that starting gun. I'm not alone. We are all in it together. 

Honey, you really tempt me

You know the way you look so kind

I'd love to stick around, but I'm running behind

(Running on) You know I don't even know what I'm hoping to find

(Running blind) Running into the sun, but I'm running behind

Standing still isn't an option. Many of us like the thought of that. Personally, I have to come to grips with change and change that I wasn't prepared for. Losing pieces of my life that I never thought I would. Knowing that ultimately, that is going to happen for everyone....but somehow, I didn't think it would apply to me. Right now looks pretty good to me, which I feel in the lyric "the way you look so kind". But, like every passing year behind me, this is going to be fleeting also. It's going to rush past me. I'd love to stick around, but I'm running behind, right? I don't know what I'm moving towards, but the inevitable is leaving this consciousness. Leaving my family, friends, co-workers....all the connections. Or, I last long enough for them to leave me. 

I still feel like I'm moving forward, but I sure would like it to stall out for awhile. To be able to enjoy my family as they are. To express love to my wife in a way that I may not have been able to as a younger man. To enjoy my daughters before they start hitting those "I have to" stages and begin to realize they are also running on empty and the road is rushing under their wheels. To give companionship and love to my friends and try to make their lives better in the rare times we spend together. I always say I hate getting older, but as a couple of friends have told me "Freddy, it beats the alternative.". I guess they are right.

 I'm "running on empty"....always have been, I just didn't know it. Do any of us, until we hit a certain age or point in our lives? 

Taking stock in it all without dwelling in it feels like a positive, but it's not easy. Emotions are conjured up. Memories. Some good, some bad. If I knew that I would miss my past this much, I would have appreciated it more, but here I am, still running on empty and I don't even know what I'm hoping to find. None of this is feeling sorry for myself at all. Just a look at where I am and sometimes I like to share that. It's a snapshot of my mindset just having turned 56, and losing the feeling of "home". Many more years behind me than in front. 

Thanks for reading if you made it this far. I suppose it's become evident that I'm not writing about the song really. I'm writing about my feelings and the song is just a facilitator for my expression. Hmm...OK....

Closing Out 2020 With Thankfulness

Hello, it's Christmas Eve morning and I felt like jotting down a few things. The past year has been wild and seemingly without a lot to celebrate. Alas, I am here to cheer you up (or at least try to make your thoughts a little less grim)! The things to celebrate, are probably closer to "real" than the things we usually point to. They are a bit deeper and more in touch with our humanity. I'm not going to tell you there haven't been a lot of downs and reasons to be out of sorts, but so often the negative dominates the positive. We dislike and fear that feeling, so when it permeates our routines, we forget to see the positives that are still around us.

If you are reading this, you are still here and "survived". For 95% of the people on earth, I'm sure still breathing is decent enough, seeing how the alternative holds permanence....as far as we know. I am thankful to still be here and able to enjoy every day, even if it's in a small way. Enjoying a laugh. Sharing a hug. Listening to someone tell you how excited they are about something or another. Having a good slice of pizza or a two finger pour of a favorite bourbon. I like to be able to sit and clear my mind every day, which is a luxury all of us can give ourselves, even if only for a few minutes.

Take the time to put the negative aside and think on those things we often overlook and take for granted. I have much more to be happy about or thankful for than I realize and some of those things should loom large in my life and this is a reminder to myself to allow it. 

I am thankful for my family and the time we have spent in the past year together, even when we may have picked at each other or been frustrated at the circumstances. Having extra time and really, just being in proximity of my children as they grow up is a blessing in itself. More than I deserve! The love I have for my wife is immeasurable and she definitely makes my life "work". My love is best expressed to and through my "girls". I'm thankful that my mom has apparently kept the cancer away and is doing well and that my wife's mother and father, while having some health issues, are still doing well enough to keep on keeping on! 

I am thankful that I work for a company that didn't gut itself by laying off employees to take advantage of the down turn of the pandemic. I am very thankful for the handful of friends that are as much family to me as anyone I share blood with. I love 'em. I got to continue to see one of my oldest and closest friends fairly regularly during the year. We helped each other through commiseration and laughter. I have also seen my other friends, not as frequently, but enough to know our bonds are strong. We used technology to get together and when we felt we could, we spent time in each others presence. We continued "Director Day", doing so over Zoom for one of our dates. We "gifted" each other throughout the year, knowing we are still on each others minds. 

My life is going about as well as can be expected, given my age and health. I don't have much of a quarrel with how things are personally. I know there are a lot of people out there hurting, some worse than others. Those are people I feel for. My family tries to be charitable within our means and I know a lot of people do the same. That makes the world a little better....to know that we can rely on each other and if we put our egos aside and take into consideration that no matter what hardship we may face, the person we don't know, that we encounter on a daily basis, may have it even tougher. Showing kindness and patience is a great gift to give everyone we run into day in and day out. Don't give it because they "deserve" or "earn" it....but give it because of who you are. That's a gift you can give for free.

Since I don't post as often as I used to, I don't suppose I'll have anything to say before the New Year rings in. I hope that anyone reading this is doing OK and the people on planet Earth get a little better shake moving forward. 

As a man, much wiser than myself once said; 

"....but remember brothers and sisters, you can still stand tall. 

Just be thankful, for what you got."

--William DeVaughn--

We Are Breaking Down As A Nation.....

Welcome to 2020! A helluva party right? We are breaking down socially and politically. Our country is coming unglued right before our eyes....we are in the midst of a change, there can be no doubting that. We have children watching their parents and the people they are supposed to be learning life lessons from shooting each other, beating each other, and destroying property and business. They see liars and charlatans all around. Respect and taking pause before action are no longer things to be valued or taught. We have political leaders calling portions of Americans "enemies". We have leaders calling a portion of Americans terrorists. We have a president and a former presidential candidate saying they won't accept the results of the election.

We have people with their lives being destroyed over things they have written or said at much younger ages. We are getting dangerously close to compelled speech as we are told what we can and can't say. Our social media platforms, which should be awesome tools for conversation and working through differences used for making duck faces and piling hate and anger on to one another. People are starting to lose their homes. Bills are piling up. Small business' closing forever. We are on the brink of lawlessness. Our police have lost the respect and trust of a large number of people by being too heavy handed over the years and showing the inability to have empathy or to exhibit self-control in high pressure situations. We have citizens with no regard for law and order. Healthcare bills causing people's lives to be ruined, their savings to be depleted many go into depression and become suicidal. Some people want to actually protest in a peaceful manner to highlight injustice. Some people want to take advantage of that and loot and destroy our cities. Some people see that their leadership isn't reacting, so they feel the need to do so by protecting the streets. Our leadership sits on their hands and won't work together because they are scared of the mob or how many votes it may cost them. We are reflecting that in so many ways. We have a media that won't show us the truth, gaslights, and editorializes hard news to manufacture consent in the pursuit of political power and clicks. There is little hope....there is much hate.

Polls show we, as American citizens, want the following;

Campaign Finance Reform: the two parties don't

End the costly wars in the Middle East and northern Africa: the two parties don't

Stop subsidies for the fossil fuel industry; the two parties don't

Marijuana legalization/descheduling/decriminalization; the two parties don't

Universal healthcare; the two parties don't

Ending corporate welfare/bailouts: the two parties don't

Congressional term limits: the two parties don't

Our wants are not being addressed. We are at each others throats mainly due to our leadership, or lack thereof and the unwillingness to see through the long con. We have been played. We have been duped into this uber-tribal way of thinking as if our lives are ran by two sports teams. We reject compromise and talking to each other in a way that can lead to common ground and progress. We demonize each other to the contentment of the elite. The better for them to get away with pillaging our hard work, the planets resources, our liberties, and our humanity. We no longer even value our "sacred" vote. How will we ever get what we want if we don't demand it and use our votes to bring about substantial change? Aside from politics or voting, can we even put our egos aside for any sort of time that will allow us to hear and consider another opinion? Will our upheaval end up as a winner take all or will we be able to compromise into some sort of acceptable climate that we can build into a stable framework to move our country forward with? I don't know.....

Pandemics, 4/20, & Everything Else.....

NOTE: I wrote this in April...for some reason it didn't post when I scheduled it. I don't think the world missed it.

Here we are, another 4/20 is upon us. Where does the time go? This year's holiday is marred by a national lock down due to the COVID-19 virus, but since marijuana stores are deemed as "essential" business most people should be OK to celebrate, unless you are dry in a dry state. At that point, shame on you for not having an emergency stash. Smoke up Johnny! 

I've been working from home for over a month now and I can't say that I hate it. I'm not a real people person, so I tend to be able to get my work done and do it with a little less stress at home. No drive time. No burning up my gasoline. I still get up and do my normal routine, so the only difference for me is not driving to an office. I can walk 8 feet from my couch to my "office". I love it! 

Other than work, I've been enjoying the time I have been able to spend with my family. It's a second chance to connect with the kids. We have never been a family that sits down to dinner every night, but during the "lock down", we have been doing so at least 4 or 5 nights a week. It's been wonderful for me. Having my oldest home from college is nice, though I'm sure she would prefer to split her time between home and her college friends. This thing has kind of stalled out her "life development" and what she had gotten used to. 

I've also been watching some TV and listening to music more than I usually do. I have some shows I have gotten into and my friends have also been sending me suggestions. I've started texting my dad and brother a little bit and we exchange music. I don't often connect with them, so it's funny that we would be doing so while we are locked down, but I guess it's not something that I should take as unlikely, since all of us are at home with more down time than usual. 

My wife probably had the virus back in March. I don't think I've ever had a more physically and mentally wrecked week. Seeing someone in bed for nine days (that usually won't even spend a day of downtime for an illness) and not getting better was taxing, but we made it through.  I've started tuning out on the news a little, I'm just tired of the politics involved and seeing the shit show that is emerging from our leadership and from the reactions of the public in general. The information is conflicting from week to week and sometimes day to day. All I can do is stay as locked down as practical and try to wait things out. I like to control my life and this has taken that away, but I've adapted. 

During this time, I've also started cooking more than I ever have. Firing the grill up a few times a week, making BBQ and cheesy potato soup....mmm, mmm good! 

I don't really have anything else to say and this may be the most uninteresting stuff I've ever written, but I felt the need to just put some thoughts down for posterity. Hopefully anyone that reads this is doing OK and has come through the pandemic with their family and health intact. 

I Like The Sound & Love The Fury: Sturgill Simpson's "Sound & Fury"

SOUND & FURY

Sturgill Simpson has managed to do what I wasn't sure anyone could do for me anymore; introduce me to something unique musically. I need to start this off by admitting my bias. I'm a fan of Sturgill Simpson. I've poured over his lyrics, made the connections and admired the concepts of each record he has made. I suppose "man crush" could be a proper term.....I crush on the man's music. It's changed my life, much like The Beatles, The Beastie Boys, The Replacements, and Waylon Jennings have done after I absorbed their music. So, yeah, this album I'm about to talk about was going to be a tough record for me to NOT like. So, with that out of the way, I'll continue. One doesn't usually associate psychedelia, meditation, and rebellion with what most would consider a "country" artist. I am not a fan of genre, but for the sake of conversation, I do realize categorization is necessary. With the release of "Sound & Fury" I think it's safe to say that Simpson is a genre-bender on an all-time great scale. With the release of the Grammy Award winning album "A Sailor's Guide To Earth" you could feel it coming on as he started the transition away from a traditional sound to a style that was willing to dip its' toes into a lot of different musical pools, metaphorically speaking of course. 

"Sound & Fury" may not sound like the prototypical "outlaw" album, but I feel it's the most outlaw thing he's done since giving a good woman a ring. You would never describe this as honky tonk or country music, but it does have those elements soaked in that you can vaguely feel bubbling below the surface. Lyrically, Sturgill isn't too coy, but most of his fans are going to understand that he is singing to Nashville, the corporate music world, and the fame machine and there isn't much sweetness in his words. He gets his digs in. He "love(s) to say no to all the yes men, just to see the looks on their face" and announces that it's "fuck y'all season". To go along with that, the music is also a thunderous message to the establishment. He is telling them he won't be boxed in and he is separating the wheat from the chaff. This is a man letting the world know that he is going to make his art and shape his life in a way that he sees fit. There isn't much room for compromise and you can either stick with him and his art, or you can get off the bus. There is also a Japanese style anime movie released as the video track for the album. You can find that on Netflix. There are plenty of visual clues in the film that coincide directly with the message he is putting out there in the music. 

Yeah, anyone that knows me, is going to understand all of the aforementioned is in my wheelhouse. I love musicians and filmmakers that don't lock themselves into an idea of themselves, or what others see them to be. You can't move forward running in place. Sturgill keeps forging ahead and with each album release, you can feel that he is stretching his talents and challenging himself. "Sound & Fury" is a collection of music that I've heard thousands of times, yet feels fresh and special. All the boxes are checked; The Cars, ZZ Top, Pink Floyd, James Brown, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Kool and the Gang, Led Zeppelin, Giorgio Moroder among many other influences. No, you don't see Merle, Hank, or Waylon on that list. Their spirit remains, but the music is rooted in 70's hard rock, funk, New Wave, and southern style rock n roll. The guitar work is vicious and in your face at times and rarely feels restrained. Sturgill continues to impress me with his guitar work. The astute listener will hear Jimmy Page, David Gilmour and other rock gods permeating from the strings. It's a lot of fun to watch him go to work when seeing him live, but he manages to convey his energy and skill on wax as well. I'm not sure if it was any part intentional, but there is NOTHING on this record that can be played on your local Top 40 country radio station. Nashville will not be able to even try to get a hand on his coattails He has black balled them from his success. He didn't need them to become who he is. The CMA and money machine has stripped most mainstream music from Nashville of its' authenticity. To borrow the title of one of the albums strongest tracks, Sturgill is going to "Make Art, Not Friends". 

The album has been a revelation. I've never heard anything quite like it. It was like hearing "Dark Side of the Moon" or "Paul's Boutique" and being truly overcome with the feeling that what you are hearing is special. It hadn't been done THAT way before. It demands to be listened to loud. The mix pulls the vocals back into the music, so if you want to find them, you gotta crank the volume to 11. You gotta work for it. The album sleeve says it all; "Fuck Your Speakers". He is meaning to kick your ass and grab you by your metaphoric balls. "Sound & Fury" is a great headphone album. The synth grooves, vicious guitar, and relentless rhythm section give it an "ear candy" quality without being soft or immediately soothing. After a few listens, the subtlety started to emerge for me. I got comfortable with the music and the funk groove and beats started to show through and just totally hooked me. 

This is a true concept album. With each album it has felt like an evolution was taking place in the way Simpson structured song sequences and weaved a bit of a narrative from start to finish. This record sees all of that come to a head. You are hearing the collection of songs as one piece of art. The listener is along for the ride as the radio switches stations suddenly and we get a blast of something different than what we were just immersed in. On The Joe Rogan Experience, Simpson made it clear that he saw the album as one piece of music. There aren't many musicians that make albums quite like that anymore. How many artists will release an album these days with only 9 or 10 tracks? Usually you will get 13 to 15. It's all thrown at you, hoping a song or two sticks. Sturgill is about creating an experience and in my opinion, he has made his best album to date. The total package is there. The lyrics, the music, the concept, the passion, the visuals are at a peak (or are they?). Some of his fans are going to treat this like Bob Dylan going electric. That's OK, because Sturgill isn't stuck in the past. He is moving on. The anime video is moving him towards a potential new group of fans. He has a graphic novel based on the "Sound & Fury" film in the works and the musical direction is putting his sound into the ears of millennial types who may not have otherwise wanted to listen to "country" music. It's shrewd and potentially risky, although I'm not sure Sturgill would even acknowledge either. He doesn't seem like a guy that doesn't have a plan though. He is the anti-sell out. The easy move would have been to do a sequel to "A Sailors Guide...". To stay accessible for his audience and new fans, but not really challenging himself or them. With "Sound & Fury", Sturgill Simpson has set the bar high. It has quickly catapulted into one of my favorite records ever. It feels wrong to wrap this up without having mentioned Sturgill's band. They are a trio of fantastic musicians that give Sturgill the excellence that he strives for. He allows them to be a part of the process and they reward him with steady, clever, and on point craftsmanship. Drummer Miles Miller, bassist Chuck Bartels, and keyboardist Bobby Emmett are all Sturgill needs to burn a house down. Those guys can rock, they can slow it down, they can be whatever they are needed to be. 

There are a ton of reviews out there, if you like that sort of thing and I urge anyone that isn't really into sitting down and listening to an album, to perhaps turn on Netflix and check out the anime film which coincides with the album. It may not be everyone's cup of tea, but it's a visual doorway into the music and that music is worth hearing. 

10 Year Anniversary of Freddy's Open Mind

It's hard to believe that I started this blog ten years ago. A lot has changed. I've passed through my 40's, I am at a different job, and the friends I see the most of have changed. Neighbors have come and gone. I've watched my kids grow up and I've seen myself change as a person.  

Being able to put things I've thought or opined on into a type of "journal" just sitting out there for anyone to read has been a bit of a blessing and a curse. I can look back and see where I have changed. World view, politics, passions, hobbies.....I have had ups and downs with those things and I'd like to believe I have evolved into a better version of myself for the most people possible. I started writing so I could entertain myself and a few others and it eventually grew into a place for me to express my ideas and to organize thoughts and beliefs. I went on record with myself. I have really slowed down on the writing since my job now demands me be in front of a computer monitor all day long. I'm not as interested in coming home and hitting the keyboard again, after doing it for the past eight hours. 

I'm not implying that I really have anything to say these days and I'm missing out on getting stuff down. Just the opposite actually. My life has become very run of the mill and I will hesitate to use the word "boring", but I will say that life has become fairly predictable for me. So much so, that I wonder if this is how it's going to be from now on. What will I respond to about this particular piece ten years from now? Will I be into something else as a hobby? Will I even still manage to care about writing once in awhile? Of course I have no way of knowing that, but my strongest suspicion leads me to think that life will be as different at 60 as it was from 40 to 50. 

I'll admit that I miss some things from ten years ago. Oddly enough, I miss the kids being dependent. I'm very happy of course that they are growing into interesting young people, but I know that's going to eventually trend towards them leaving home. It's already partially happened with my oldest daughter living at college more than at the house. My youngest is an independent thinker and while I always enjoy engaging her in conversation, she is much more guarded with her time as she gets older. My immediate family is the most important aspect of my life. I care about how they are progressing and have worked on me so I don't impede them. 

I miss the friends that I don't get to hang out with anymore. Everyone moves on. Families start, people find new jobs and interests. It happens. When we are in the moment, it seems like what we are used to and probably content with, will roll on indefinitely. There is always that "last time" though, that we do something we enjoy and don't realize it's over. I also believe it works the other way. Sometimes things we don't enjoy end. Again, we just move on and something new fills the void in our time and relationships. 

That's about it I suppose, as I didn't want to let the date pass without acknowledging a decade of writing and sharing. I do sort of  hope that this blog will be a tool for my kids to use to learn a little more about me than they may have ever wanted to know. If I croak out tomorrow, anyone could start at the beginning and work through enough of my posts to figure out who I was. My motivations for writing changed from time to time and all in all, I have enjoyed just getting to write on stuff I loved, hated, laughed at, or cared about. If my children or friends want to learn about how I felt about a topic or what I was interested in or pissed off about or what I thought about politics, culture, etc....well, it's here. 

My New Hobby: Bourbon & Whiskey

As I get older, the ability to continue past hobbies has either gotten to a point where I can't physically do those things anymore, or I have become a bit bored or disinterested. I've always been fairly athletic and enjoyed baseball, softball, and basketball (sometimes golf) over the years, but as aforementioned, my "physicality" at age 50 just isn't going to allow for those things any longer. I've collected baseball cards and as I've gravitated away from MLB, it just doesn't interest me like it used to. Vinyl albums are a hobby also, but other than a few discs that I'm on the lookout for, I have just about everything I care about musically. By the way, I'm looking for "Seed of Memory" by Terry Reid....so if  you see it when perusing a flea market, grab it for me! :) My growing older and waning interest in past endeavors has led me to start becoming a bourbon/whiskey enthusiast.

I've been a fan of the stuff since my mid 20's, as I'm not much on beer and while I do enjoy rum on occasion, it's whiskey that has more or less interested me as both an intoxicant and as an interest. I decided some months back to engage bourbon/whiskey as more of a hobby. I started learning about it; how it was first invented, how it's distilled, bottled, the terminology, and of course the different varieties one can find. 

YouTube and a few "review" sites on the 'net have had a large hand in my education. Nothing can beat actually tasting though as an education into the hobby. That has led me to a nearly full blown obsession with finding recommended bottles and giving them a try. I have a decent beginner collection (for want of a better term), but I'm not really a collector. If I buy it, I intend on drinking it eventually. I don't care about "investing" in it or just having full bottles sitting around, although they do make nice conversation and decorative pieces in a lot of cases. 

Here is a shot of my "better" bourbons (along with a bottle of Monkey Shoulder scotch, which I really like) and the highest cost of any bottle there is $80. Most of what I have shown here can be had for under $50 or more in the $40 range. 

I have become a fan of the McKenna 10 year old bottled in bond from Heaven Hill in the past year and it has won a couple of awards in 2018 and 2019 which has made it a little more scarce than I'd like. I used to be able to pick up a bottle at $30 any time I wanted and these days it takes a little more hunting and can run up to $50. I'm not inclined to pay more than $35 for it, so it may be a brand that I eventually  have to let go of. The "run" has inflated the prices and while I do enjoy it and will always try to have a bottle around, I can find some good value under $30 that I know I'll be able to get almost any time I want. So, there is an element of supply and demand when it comes to bourbon and it can be a little frustrating to know that there are "hoarders" that buy up stuff with the intention of reselling at a higher rate. 

I have found some of my favorites to come from the bottom shelf, which in whiskey terms is basically "the cheap stuff". Cheap doesn't always equate with bad though. Bonded in Bond bourbons (click the link to learn more) are generally cheap in price, but can pack a good punch and my entry into learning about bourbon started in that area. BiB is always going to be 100 proof, so the strength is there and while they are usually a little bit younger (they have to be aged 4 years at least) there is a decent enough flavor profile. I enjoy Fast Eddie's favorite, JTS Brown quite a bit, and in addition to the aforementioned McKenna, Evan Williams BiB is also pretty damned good for under $20. My cheap go to though is the Heaven Hill green label. Aged 6 years and I believe only sold in Kentucky, it's a great starting point for anyone wanting to put on the training wheels and get into the hobby. 

These are my favorite cheaper brands that I sip on....

I have found a couple of great resources for learning about bourbon on YouTube, my favorite being "The Bourbon Guild".  A group of four bourbon enthusiast friends do reviews and blind tastings of different brands and it's fun and interesting to watch them discuss and argue about flavor and aroma profiles as well as value. They may be my favorite YouTube program. Always entertaining and informative, I have learned the tendencies and preferences of each of them and that helps me decide what I may want to try and what I may want to avoid. Hats off to Dutch, Dillon, Jules, and Ben Richards the butcher of Bakersfield for putting together such a fun show to watch. 

Another good program is "The Whiskey Vault". The "Somm" and the "Mooch" are also very entertaining and while they may not do the straight up review that other programs work from, they are very informative and dive into different areas that help one to expand their knowledge and understanding. They also get into a lot of different shenanigans....some miss, but most hit and they are an interesting pair to listen to. Their motto is basically like this; "the best whiskey to drink is what you like and the best way to drink it is the way you enjoy it"...I am paraphrasing, but that's the gist of it and how I try to approach my sipping! I would recommend either of these programs for people that want to learn more about the hobby or try to find out about some brands they may want to try. Most of the programs on YouTube that review bourbon are OK and can be fun to watch, but there are a few that just give arbitrary number scores to what they are sampling and without a discussion, I can't trust that what they like, I will like. 

Well, that's what I have been up to in recent months. I like to sip a few days a week while listening to music or whatever and I'm finally learning to pick up on flavor and aroma profiles. That has been a little difficult for me, but I feel like I would get disinterested in expanding my horizons if there wasn't a "game" to bourbon sipping. The nuance and discovering what I like and don't like in the profiles keep me coming back!

Take care.....and I'll leave you with a couple of videos....

From The Bourbon Guild, hilarious and informative, they have me sold on wanting this. It's out of my price range, but maybe Christmas? I swear, Ben Richards may be a long lost relative! 

The Whiskey Vault takes on Heaven Hill white label.....

Happy Birthday Nancy!

My wife is turning a certain age on 2/25/2019. Like most of us who finally get to this "life event", I think she is a bit dumbfounded that this is really happening. How did we get to be 50? Wasn't it just yesterday, we were graduating high school with the world and future ahead of us? Wasn't it just last night we were leaving college and marrying, with the prospects for our life looking limitless? It sure seems like it, but the numbers find a way of catching up to us. We are ahead of the game, or so we believe, for decades. Then, as the Pink Floyd song goes "and then one day you find, ten years have got behind you". The future gives way to the past, but we adjust and move on. We move forward, but the years pile up behind us and we take stock in who we are. Hopefully we all find peace, understanding, patience, and a willingness to share our love more readily as we grow older. 50 isn't just an age, it's a milestone. A move from one phase of life to another and I have found there is no reason to fear it. There is still time to be who you want to be ,experience what you want to experience, and to learn what you have always wanted to know. 

This is a love letter to my wife and an expression of my love for her, as I take stock in who she is and what she means to me. 

Nancy, I hope on this most significant of birthdays, you don't feel old. I hope you feel in touch with who you are more than ever and realize the value of being present in the moment as much as possible. The now is all we really have, for the past is a memory and the future is a dream.

I love you very much. Through some ups and downs, we have stayed faithful to one another and have never had a serious discussion about bringing our friendship, partnership, and marriage to an end. It's just not who we are. There are times we probably haven't liked each other very much, but there has never been a time when I haven't loved you. I hope what I am writing is a better expression than the way I bear out my love in a practical way day to day. I know me and I know that I can be distant, judgmental, and surly, so knowing myself means that I know I am not the ideal husband. I apologize to you and our children for that, but never let there be a doubt that I am yours. Love seems to evolve over time. There is being "in love" and there is "loving". I prefer the latter. It's real. It lasts. There is something tangible about understanding and knowing another person and, despite that, remaining loyal to them. I know your secrets. You know mine. Nothing is left to hide and despite all of that, we stick with each other through the difficulties that life can and has thrown at us. 

Happy Birthday Nancy! For over 30 years I have loved you and been committed to you and I want to express that in writing, because I seldom seem to do a good job of it verbally. 

What do I think of you? Who are you to me? Why do I love you? I can think of a reason or two.....or 50.

You are as beautiful as ever.

Your smile is warm and genuine.

You care for the well being of others. 

You listen and you hear...most of the time. LOL! 

You give more than you take.

You allow me to be me.

You are committed to your friends.

You love your family.
You like Pink Floyd.

You are independent in action and thought.

You support your family.
You are the family doctor and psychiatrist when we need it.

You are the most compassionate person I know.
You love hugs.

You don't turn your back on anyone in need.
You trust me. 

You make the house our home.
You let me choose the music when I drive and most times when you do.

You gave me two wonderful daughters.
You understand chicken wings make me feel better when I'm down.

You care for and love our children beyond yourself.

You are dependable.
I never run out of razors. I'm assuming it's not the razor fairy keeping me stocked up.
You can be tough when needed.
You take care of the bills.
You never complained about that pitiful engagement ring.
You try to see the best in everyone.

You forgive my insanity. 

You are honest.
You love our kids in a way that I would describe as admirable.
You turned me on to "Lost". 

You work hard. 

You humor even my craziest ideas. 

When I need you, you are always there.

You are intelligent. 

You honor your commitments. 

You are strong.
You are tender.

You are warm. 

You are a fantastic mother. 

You are a great daughter, sister, aunt and daughter-in-law.
You encourage me when I need it.
When we saw The Jayhawks, you encouraged me to get closer to the stage.

You are welcoming and kind to strangers.
You are trustworthy.
You are a fantastic wife.
You are empathetic.
You are my best friend.
You share your love unconditionally.
You have made me a better person.

I am proud to be your husband and there isn't anyone that I would rather spend my life with. I love you absolutely and that will never change. Thanks for being my friend and my wife. You have been a blessing to my life and invaluable in my evolution as a person. My life is complete and meaningful because of the love you give me.

Thanks for being who you are and I love you from the deepest depths of my heart and soul. Happy Birthday Nancy, you are the best person I've ever known.

Freddy