Sunday, July 18, 2010

Depression Is....

If you are depressive or have depression (diagnosed or not), you know that it always has a way of finding you. No matter that you are feeling on top of the world for days or weeks on end, it's gonna find you. Chase it off with medicine. Self medicate. Go to counseling. Exercise. Eat better. It doesn't matter, it's gonna getcha!

Depression is like the weird uncle at family gatherings. You know that the gatherings are coming (Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc) and your crazy assed uncle is going to be there, like it or not. Saying things that are totally inappropriate, like "Hey, your daughter is really growing up. Has she got her period yet?" or drinking too much and falling down the stairs, then blaming it on Milli Vanilli not having a follow up album. You don't want depression to come back, but it wouldn't stay away if you paid it.

So, I've come up with a list of what depression is like and what it means to me. Sure, it affects everyone differently, but I thought it might be a good idea to sling a few cats up a tree to see if they can catch a branch or land on their feet (they always seem to).

Depression Is.....

Wanting to sleep more than a 19 year old high school drop out, living in mom's basement.

Believing people are conspiring against you, as if they were planning the JFK assassination.

Thinking nobody loves you, despite them putting up with your tantrums about sour cream having an expiration date.

Believing aliens are stalking you and have abducted your pets. (OK, never mind that one, it's a whole 'nother kind of crazy)

Wanting to be left alone and then when nobody comes around getting pissed because you think they don't care.

Small matters suddenly become large and overwhelming.....but only to you.

Getting "WTF?" looks from your friends and family when you tell them you'd prefer death over how you feel.

Sending a scathing, angry email and then wishing there was a "Take It Back" button just two seconds later.

Closing your Facebook account because someone talks bad about the Red Sox.

Being less motivated than LeBron James in an elimination play-off game.

Smoking a joint and not laughing at America's Funniest Home Videos.

Watching "What About Bob?" as if Freud wrote it.

Being certain that everyone on the road is out there just to piss you off.

Allowing whims to control most of your day and actions.

Not feeling good for no good reason.

Having less interest in sex than Rosie O'Donnell at a Chippendale's weenie flop.

Finding no joy in the things that should light up your day; like getting an extra chicken wing in your 3 piece meal.

"I'm down....really can you laugh when you know I'm down."
The Beatles