Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Whoa.....What the f*ck?

Jeebus! You ever woke up in the middle of the night and thought "Oh shit.....I'm gonna die!"?

None of us are gonna make it out alive and that's a sobering thought when you get right down to it. Most of us put off thinking about our demise, but there are a few of us (like myself) who can't get through a day without examining it a little bit. 

My cousin says he likes to "take death out of his pocket" and give it a look over every day, so he can remind himself to not stress out and take most of life with a grain of salt. Not a bad idea for those of us who are prone to slipping into Neverland, a place where death is always happening to other people. Hell, let's be honest; a lot of people NEVER take the time to really contemplate their mortality. It's just not in us to think about our death, when we are so geared to survive. 

As I have outlined here before, and earlier in this post, I consider death quite a bit. Not so much "where I go" after the deed is done, but what is it going to be like. Once you are gone, that's it. Poof! See ya. No getting a long last look. No thinking "Hey, I'm dead!" or whatever. One second you are tossing chicken nuggets down your throat, walking the dog, sitting at your desk, or watching Cheryl shake her thang on Dancing With The Stars, the next you are into the abyss. 

Sorry if I'm depressing you, I don't mean to. It's just that I have a little wish list that I would like to get done before the clock strikes midnight and the movie ends. I guess you could call it a "bucket list" if you were so inclined, and I'm not. This is just a small sampling of stuff I'd like to see, do, or experience before I "check out".

*See Star Wars episodes 7 through 9. I said the same thing about the prequels when I was young and after seeing those, I kind of wished the Grim Reaper would have grabbed me up outta my seat about 30 minutes into Phantom Menace. If there is a hell, Jar Jar Binks will be my companion for eternity. Can I have the weeping and gnashing of teeth instead? Please?

*See the final episode of The Walking Dead. This is a new addition to my addictions, but now that I'm involved in it on the same level I was with "Lost", I have to know how it ends. I don't want to be like Abe Lincoln. He never did get to see the end of "Our American Cousin". What a jip!

*See the Louisville Cardinals win another basketball championship. Come on, dammit. It's over due.

*I really don't want to jump out of a plane before I die. With that said, I avoid flying as to not wind up in that situation.

*I don't want to ever be able to do my "celebrity freebie"! You know, every couple seems to have a "Get Out Of Jail Free" celebrity that their mate says they can have sex with free and clear. At this point in my life and with the body I have "accumulated" over the years, it would probably be just as disgusting to actually have sex with that "super babe" as it is for me to even imagine it. Once you can't even imagine yourself looking good enough for someone else to want you, it's time to sack up the potatoes and keep things to yourself. 

*I'd love to live long enough to see marijuana be legal in Kentucky. I can stroke out after walking down to the store and picking up a pack of "Really Lucky's".

*Play a round of golf with......ehh....screw that. I don't want to play a round of anything with anyone.

*I would like to see the Grand Canyon.....and every gawdam rock in it. That should buy me some time. 

*It'd be great to see how my kids are doing in their 30's. Will they be dirty bums? Will they make an impact on society? It's more likely they will just be living a life like everyone else, trying to get by, having kids, working, and that sort of thing.

All of the above could be a moot point. Remember, December 21st is fast approaching and the Mayan calendar is running out. Stock up on bread, eggs, and milk, it's French Toast time baby!

A related post:
Have Some Fun At My Farewell Party!