It's hard to believe that I started this blog ten years ago. A lot has changed. I've passed through my 40's, I am at a different job, and the friends I see the most of have changed. Neighbors have come and gone. I've watched my kids grow up and I've seen myself change as a person.
Being able to put things I've thought or opined on into a type of "journal" just sitting out there for anyone to read has been a bit of a blessing and a curse. I can look back and see where I have changed. World view, politics, passions, hobbies.....I have had ups and downs with those things and I'd like to believe I have evolved into a better version of myself for the most people possible. I started writing so I could entertain myself and a few others and it eventually grew into a place for me to express my ideas and to organize thoughts and beliefs. I went on record with myself. I have really slowed down on the writing since my job now demands me be in front of a computer monitor all day long. I'm not as interested in coming home and hitting the keyboard again, after doing it for the past eight hours.
I'm not implying that I really have anything to say these days and I'm missing out on getting stuff down. Just the opposite actually. My life has become very run of the mill and I will hesitate to use the word "boring", but I will say that life has become fairly predictable for me. So much so, that I wonder if this is how it's going to be from now on. What will I respond to about this particular piece ten years from now? Will I be into something else as a hobby? Will I even still manage to care about writing once in awhile? Of course I have no way of knowing that, but my strongest suspicion leads me to think that life will be as different at 60 as it was from 40 to 50.
I'll admit that I miss some things from ten years ago. Oddly enough, I miss the kids being dependent. I'm very happy of course that they are growing into interesting young people, but I know that's going to eventually trend towards them leaving home. It's already partially happened with my oldest daughter living at college more than at the house. My youngest is an independent thinker and while I always enjoy engaging her in conversation, she is much more guarded with her time as she gets older. My immediate family is the most important aspect of my life. I care about how they are progressing and have worked on me so I don't impede them.
I miss the friends that I don't get to hang out with anymore. Everyone moves on. Families start, people find new jobs and interests. It happens. When we are in the moment, it seems like what we are used to and probably content with, will roll on indefinitely. There is always that "last time" though, that we do something we enjoy and don't realize it's over. I also believe it works the other way. Sometimes things we don't enjoy end. Again, we just move on and something new fills the void in our time and relationships.
That's about it I suppose, as I didn't want to let the date pass without acknowledging a decade of writing and sharing. I do sort of hope that this blog will be a tool for my kids to use to learn a little more about me than they may have ever wanted to know. If I croak out tomorrow, anyone could start at the beginning and work through enough of my posts to figure out who I was. My motivations for writing changed from time to time and all in all, I have enjoyed just getting to write on stuff I loved, hated, laughed at, or cared about. If my children or friends want to learn about how I felt about a topic or what I was interested in or pissed off about or what I thought about politics, culture, etc....well, it's here.
