You Might Be An A-Hole!

Awhile back some hillbilly comedian made a living off of the phrase "You might be a redneck if....". The beginning was always the same, but the punchline was usually something to the effect of "you have a couch and a fridge on your front porch."  Never hurts to poke fun at someone and rednecks are no exception to this. Today, I want to call out the assholes of the world. You may or may not be one. You may be aware that you are and you may not. Well, I'm going to give you a guide to help you identify the assholes in our world.

You might be an asshole if.......

*you buy $50 worth of lottery scratch-offs and insist on scratching them off right there at the register

*you carry on about how "gay" Dancing With The Stars is, but you TIVO every episode of Jersey Shore

*you bitch about the over paid cry babies in baseball while wearing a Yankees cap

*you drive a Hummer

*you call in to work and tell your boss "I have the shits." Come on now, make something up, like, you hit a water buffalo on the way in and your car is totalled.

*you tip a waitress more if she is good looking, as if she's going to blow you because you dropped an extra $2 on the table

*you carry on and on about how great your high school days were. Hey, nobody gives a shit but you. Grow up and get on with your life. The days of cruising for chicks at the Piggly Wiggly are in the rear view mirror.

*you say "I'm not racist but...." and then you go on to tell a "nigger" joke. Here's a tip....you ARE a racist, so keep in mind that the rest of us probably are not. The south lost. Get over it.

*someone calls you and it's obviously a wrong number and you just have to ask "what number did you dial?". Well, whose phone rang, idiot.

*you support treating animals humanely, but don't support homosexuals having the same rights as you have.

*you swear by MSNBC and NPR, but call FOX news biased.

*your name is Justin Bieber, Mitch McConnell, or Brett Favre.

*you hate, hurt, or kill because an ancient "holy" book tells you to. Hey, if you hate someone because of a god, you really need to stop and just think about that for a little while.

*you say "Cold enough for you?" or  "Hot enough for you?"  Is that really all you have to offer up as conversation?

*you blow up a bowl of chili in the microwave and leave it for someone else to clean. 

*you believe Eddie Vedder is a modern day Jim Morrison. They're both overrated puds.

*you are a smoker who insists on pitching their butts out the car window.

*you stare at the menu at McDonald's and say "Ummmmm....." Hey, it's Mc-Friggin'-Donalds. Get a number 3 and get on with your life. What are you looking for, a wine list?

*you call Trekkies nerds, but your web handle is "R2D2Fan" or "Nerf Herder"

*you have personalized plates that start out "TOO" or "2". No, you are not too cool, bad, or sweet. You are a dip shit.

*you voted for Ralph Nader, but think Ron Paul is a crackpot

*you choose 10 minutes into film at a movie theater to start talking to your friend about a boil you found on your ass. Shut up. I wanna watch the movie I just paid $38 to see along with my popcorn and small pop

*you write a blog telling your 3 or 4 readers what is wrong with everyone else in the world (whoops)

There are a thousand more of these, but I thought I'd share just a few with you. Feel free to add any in the comment section below. I reserve the right to change, add or delete any of the above. Especially if I'm guilty of violating any of them.

I use public toilets and I piss on the seat

I walk around in the summertime saying, "How about this heat?"

I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)

I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)

Asshole Song---Dennis Leary



Part 2: Elected Officials

It wasn't so long ago that I believed that putting the right people into public office could make a difference in our lives. I was a fairly staunch Republican and a supporter of mostly conservative politicians. I was an advocate for voting for George W. Bush in 2000. And I voted for him again in 2004. But after that, I start examining campaign promises, agenda's, and influences of different politicians, including Bush. I didn't like what I was learning. I started seeing where most issues were considered cut and dry by both sides. Why was it that on nuanced issues like gay marriage, abortion, tax policy, welfare, and foreign policy always seemed to be split firmly along party lines? Where were the moderate Republicans? Where were the moderate Democrats? Why was it so rare to have one cross over to vote with the other?

I didn't have answers. So I began to re-evaluate and examine the things I believed and wanted to stand for. Who did I want to be? How did I want to think? I did some reading. I discussed things with friends, who were both like minded and differed from me. One big key, was watching documentaries on politics, religion, drug culture, military operations, big business, and human behavior. I learned quite a bit from putting in that time. I feel it was all well worth it. I feel better about who I am, because I came to conclusions and beliefs on my terms and not some predetermined set of principles based on a label (such as conservative or liberal). I began to find out that there is no "right" way to live your life. We are all different. We were raised different, by people with varied backgrounds and upbringing themselves. We all have been exposed to different sets of rules in regards to what is acceptable and what is not. So, how in the world could so many people just fit into a category and support, rigidly, the things that seemingly put you into that category? What happened to just being an American citizen and coming to conclusions about what you believe and how you will vote, on your own terms? Could that loss of mental independence lead us, as a society, to allow things to run off course? We don't seem to know much about why politicians vote, advocate, and go to bat a certain way on an issue, other than just knowing they are a Democrat or Republican. Really, I know where almost every member of congress and the senate stand on issues, simply by knowing their party affiliation. That's kind of sad.

Money makes a politician. If you don't have monetary support, you can't get elected to any position of substance in this country. After that, party support comes into play. And immediately after that, lobbyists and corporate support come into the picture. But, that's just the path to getting into position to be elected. Once in office, those pieces are still there, but they are in different orders at different times, due to an elected official wanting to keep their position. The positions many, if not most, politicians stake out have more to do with their own well being, than that of their constituency. Say, Sarah Palin supported gay marriage, but was conservative on everything else. Let's say (and this is really pushing it) she is highly qualified for the office of the presidency.....the MOST qualified candidate in the Republican party. Well, if she publicly supports gay marriage, no matter her staunch conservative positions on EVERYTHING else, she would not have a chance at being the Republican nominee for president. NO CHANCE. The party wouldn't support her being independent minded. She would lose support from religious institutions. So, if she wants to be president, she would have to "play ball". That's disingenuous and disgraceful. We've come to a point in our history that we will not allow someone to disagree with us on one or two issues, no matter what other things we are in lockstep with. Is it any wonder our politicians are cowards and money grubbers? We won't support the best among us, because they don't toe the line. We don't support the best among us, because they adhere to personal conviction and won't compromise to keep their position of prominence in a party. Would Obama have been the Democrats nominee if he had said he would continue the Bush foreign policy? Hell no.......not in a million years. But he has and to be elected, he had to say that he wouldn't. Would he have been the nominee if he said he would continue to support the Patriot Act and continued surveillance of phone calls and Internet use, as well as continuing to allow Guantanamo Bay to be open for business? Once again, hell no.  No matter that he was pushing health care, bailouts, gay rights and so many other liberal causes. He only could say what people wanted him to, or he would have been outta luck.

The worst thing about the decisions our "leaders" make is how tainted it looks, even if it's not tainted at all. Lobbyists and big business interests have continuous access to our leaders. They donate huge amounts of money. They push their employees to support certain candidates. Union dues are used to support candidates, whether the employee agrees with that candidate or not. Churches, even though they are not supposed to, are involved in getting certain candidates elected. If Senator Joe Blow is undecided on a gun rights bill, you can bet that the NRA is going to send someone to have a talk with him. Take him on a golf outing. Write a check for his campaign. Give him a nice 55" plasma television for his office. Anyone think that may influence Joe Blow? I sure the hell think it could. And even if it doesn't......if he votes the NRA's way, it will appear that it's what made the difference. We see vote buying and trading between candidates and parties all the time. Want Senator Blow's support on a tax bill or on a budget plan? Gotta throw in some money that he can take back home to his state, so he can crow about how much bread he's buttering. Never mind that he may or may not agree with an issue. It's about staying in office. Gaining support by going along with the gang. Gaining money for the re-election campaign.

And the campaigns spend LOTS of money. Depending on who you believe, our politicians spent between 4 and 6 BILLION dollars on the mid-term elections. You think any of that money could have benefited some people who are going hungry right now? You think any of that money could have gone towards beefing up our infrastructure? Candidates should be having televised debates constantly. They should have town hall style meetings. Visit local interest clubs. Go door to door. Press the flesh! They should be getting blocks of air time during a campaign to talk about their vision. The money involved is wasteful and it has the potential to corrupt. I don't want any of my leaders making a decision on an environmental bill if they got a $50,000 contribution from Dow Chemical last year.

Why can't this stuff be changed? Because our politicians are the ones who make the rules. Where are the term limits that have been talked about? Yeah, right. Would you vote yourself out of a job? Where are the real, lasting, and consequential limits on campaign contributions and gifts? These guys are not going to vote themselves out of campaign cash. Why don't our politicians have to abide by the same health care laws and regulations the rest of us do? Because they are not about to take away a sweetheart deal that is great for them. Somehow, it's not good enough for everyone else, though. We are told to air up our tires, turn off our lights, carpool, and recycle, while they fly around in private jets, scurry about in gas guzzling SUV's, and own stock in major oil companies.

So, what can we do? Well, we can try to accept that people make mistakes and not worry about whether you should vote for someone who partied too much in college or got a DUI 25 years ago. We can allow people to be imperfect like the rest of us. We can accept that a political leader may not agree with us 100%. Let's put the best possible people for the job in office. Let's let our leaders know that we don't expect them to be flawless humans, we just expect that they will be honest and incorruptible. The small, grass roots movements can help too. It's a shame that the Tea Party movement got invaded by conservative Republicans. The Tea Party movement was originally about taxes, the constitution, and government spending. Lots of diversity was to be found at its' formation in late 2008. The movement began to gain traction in 2009. People from all political backgrounds and walks of life were trying to speak up and make a difference. Then, Sarah Palin and others started draping themselves in the movement and expanded the agenda, to what was mostly a conservative one. If a campaign such as that would be left alone and allowed to grow without being taken over by ideologues we could find more moderate, serious minded people to run for office. People who were more interested in helping our country and less interested in helping their party or pocketbook.

Our system has just been allowed to run crazy. There is a constant barrage of rules and regulations added every year by politicians who are interested in retaining power and growing their personal wealth. Every time there is a take over by an opposing party in one of our states, they begin redrawing districts, so they can keep the power they were voted in to. That's so dishonest that it's insane. We allow political parties to set the table and basically take away the voice of a community, by shrinking or growing a voting block that is advantageous to one party or the other. I beg you to start paying more attention to yourself. I urge you to start critically thinking about your beliefs. Hey, I think not giving health care and welfare to illegal aliens is a great idea on paper. We'd save a lot of money. But, what about children of illegals? How are they supposed to eat? Why would we punish human beings for wanting to better themselves? So, in my heart and mind, I know that we need to change some things, but making changes that will hurt our fellow men, women, and children is irresponsible. And what does that say about us, if we allow people to be without shelter, suitable clothing, and food? Stop and think about it. We have to expect more from ourselves and then we can begin to expect the same thing from our leadership.

I am a lonely visitor

I came to late to cause a stir

Though I've campaigned all my life towards that goal

I hardly slept the night you wept

Our secrets safe and still we kept

Where even Richard Nixon has got soul

The Campaigner - Neil Young

Part 1: Here I Go Again!

I'm probably going to surprise and aggravate some of you by what I write today. Yeah, I'm perfectly aware that nobody reads this shit (well....maybe 10 or 15 people do) and I started out doing it to have some fun and try to amuse myself and others. But it's hard to do when there are so many things happening and the wheels start turning in my mind. This is going to run long, so I'm gonna have to cut this into a few pieces over the next week.

I hear all the time about how drugs are crippling our country and destroying the nations youths. Well, you know what? Bullshit. I won't sit here and tell you that drugs and alcohol are not a problem in this country, but I will tell you that our inability to talk openly about drugs and alcohol and be truthful about it is just as big a problem. I'm fairly convinced that our weakness and lack of sensibility is contributing to drug/alcohol abuse just as much as any pushers on the street. We need to be accountable to our children, our society, our culture, and our planet.

Altering consciousness and our feelings have been around since the beginning of mankind. This didn't start with jazz musicians, hippies, or Chinese opium dens. Most of us try to alter how we think and feel every single day. Yeah.....YOU too. And then, you expect that your children shouldn't do the same? We rely on schools and government to tell our kids about the dangers of drugs and when they do....and when we finally sack up to tell them ourselves, we aren't honest about it. We empower drugs and alcohol daily. We give some sort of mystical and evil power to them. A shot of whiskey is just a shot of whiskey. A cigarette is just a cigarette. A joint is just a joint. A xanax is just a xanax. It's when these things are used that they become more than just objects with no effect on us. So, why wouldn't we want to be truthful and upfront with our young people about the effects and the repercussions of their use? Why wouldn't we want to spell out what these things can lead to? Why wouldn't we talk about responsibility?

I will stick with some of my own experience to explain where I'm going with this. I love bourbon......good bourbon. Do I think bourbon is evil? Not at all. Will bourbon destroy my life? No. It could.....but it won't. If I have two drinks on a Friday night and enjoy my bourbon responsibly and let my children know that it's not the bourbon that's the problem....it's a persons decision to abuse it that is. I think it's necessary that children and teenagers not be overly sheltered from what awaits them. Do they need to learn a hard lesson about abusing alcohol, to find out about its' danger? No, they don't. Some do, but not all. Alcohol can be enjoyable and enhance social engagements, when used responsibly. I believe we should let kids know the bad....and the good. I'm not saying advocate it, but I am saying tell them the whole story. It can kill you. It can make you do terrible things. But, it can also feel pretty good to sit around with your friends and get a little buzz and have a happy time.

Moving on to drugs. I'm a firm believer in "all things in moderation". Not to say that I advocate kids doing meth or whatever.....even in moderation. I find myself in support of cocaine (and it's off shoots, ie, crack, crank), meth, heroin, LSD and the like being illegal. Those things can quickly lead to addiction and real harm to a persons mind and ability to hold relationships, jobs, and stability. The libertarian in me says that perhaps those should be legal for use. The parent and socially conscious part of me says that those are substances better left alone. I believe that focus of the war on drugs should be taken off marijuana and put squarely on synthetic drugs and that includes prescription medicine. Prescription pain killers and mind altering pills are really easy for kids to get their hands on. And they are really addictive and can be really dangerous to development. Let's not leave this to schools. Let's take back the discussion about drugs. We need to educate ourselves on the truths and lies about these substances, so we can give a truly informed lesson to our kids. The Internet is a great place to find out about the effects (good and bad) of drugs. Hell, you can find out how to use natural drugs (ie, pot, mushrooms) in a safe way that can enhance thought. But, what you need to look for first is pictures and descriptions of what can happen when you take that first hit off a crack or meth pipe. And don't make a blanket statement like this........

This is what drugs will do to you;

Be honest....that's what METH can and will do to you. That's what CRACK can and will do to you. That's not what marijuana will do to you. Synthetic drugs are highly addictive and that addiction comes on rapidly....sometimes within a couple of uses. And here is why you should be specific when talking to young people about drugs.............because they are likely to try a drug at some point. And if they do, and it's marijuana and they realize that it doesn't turn them into criminals or dope fiends, or they find out that it's not going to kill them, you lose credibility. Why then should they believe what you say about meth, if you were not upfront with them? Depending on the maturity of a child, adults should give them as much truthful information as possible. And, in turn, you may actually influence other children, by giving your kids the information they need.

CLICK THE LINK BELOW

Change The Climate Article on Parents & Kids

Addiction and overdose are the two main destroyers of lives when we talk about the effects of drugs. And again, neither of those apply to marijuana. And marijuana is where we are spending the bulk of our time and money (not to mention jailing common users as well as dealers) in regards to education, rehab, criminality, and border defense. Every nickel that goes to eradicating marijuana or setting up stings to catch users is a nickel that won't go towards finding meth labs, crack pushers, and the influx of heroin and cocaine into our country. It's nonsense and it's time we started standing up to what's right. I urge you, whether you agree with me or not, to educate yourself on these drugs. And learn about both sides of the debate. If you spend all your time researching your own position only, you will strengthen that position, but you won't really be making up your own mind and it will impede your ability to discuss it with your kids or whoever in a knowledgeable and intellectually honest viewpoint.

I said earlier that most people have their own drugs, even if they are not called pot, meth, crank, crack, beer, whiskey, or cigarettes. Want examples? OK, I'll give you examples. And if you stop to really consider these things, instead of moving on to watching an Ace Ventura movie, you may fire off a few neurons in your brain and change the way you think about your world, your life, and the children that you love and want to protect.

Coffee: Yeah, some of you know exactly what I'm talking about. If you HAVE to have a cup every morning to get it going, you are an addict. Go without it a day or so and see how good you feel. But, you don't have any problem drinking it all day and right in front of your kids. But, it's hardening your arteries. And it's altering your mind, mood, and body. Too much caffeine can kill you.

Cola:  See above. Sugared, caffeinated,  and corn syrup cola is more dangerous to your health than marijuana. Too much of this and it can lead to diabetes and other health issues. Too much caffeine can kill you.

Roller Coasters:  How good does that adrenaline feel pumping through your veins? Feels great. And you brought it on artificially, by inducing your body to release it.

Child's Play:  Ever see kids spinning in circles until they get dizzy and doing it over and over? Ever hear of kids holding their breath while another kid hugs them? The reason kids do these things (and probably you when you were young) is the rush and the mind alteration. It feels strange. It feels good. It's fun.

Cigarettes:  Again, more dangerous than marijuana. Almost all tobacco....and I'll say it again almost ALL tobacco is sprayed with radioactive chemicals. So, not to mention the carcinogens involved, you have to deal with burning radioactive substances and sucking in the toxins. Cigarettes can and will kill you....eventually.

Mental medicines (Zoloft, Effexor, Ritalin, etc):  What do these things do? Well, they change your mood. They make you feel better than you normally would. They enhance your ability to function. They are also highly addictive and can cause psychosis and suicidal behaviors in some people. They also hurt the liver and can cause a person to gain or lose weight. Funny how we have no problem shoving that shit in a kids mouth if he/she is a little excitable and then turn around and whip their ass or send them to rehab for getting caught smoking a joint. An overdoes can kill you.

Pain killers:  You know what I'm talking about. This is becoming a huge problem for our youth. They can get it almost anywhere and the signs of use are hard to read. When you take your pain relievers, why do you do it? To make yourself feel better. And sometimes....come on admit it, even when you are not feeling much pain, you'll take one, simply to take the edge off your day, right? How is that not abuse? An overdose can kill you.

Sports Fandom:  Ahhh.....yes. Go to the game. Watch the kids run up and down the floor. Jump up in euphoria and high five the guy next to you after a nasty dunk!!!  Chemical reactions folks. You are altering your mindset, emotions, and physical feelings. How do you feel when your team loses....especially to a rival? You think hardcore fandom isn't a drug? Think again.

Game hunting:  Oh, yeah. Sit in a tree and wait. Sweet....look at that buck. Your heart races. You raise the rifle. You look down the scope. You fire. You hit. WOW!!!!  One helluva feeling, huh?

Beer/Liquor:  Well....I don't think I have to get very graphic with this. But it's legal right? So, is it OK to destroy your body and maybe your life? Alcohol drastically changes behavior and thought. Too much will kill you.

Now, let's compare that stuff to hard drugs.....

Crystal Meth:  It is highly addictive and just a few uses can lead to addiction. You lose too much weight, and muscle mass. Your teeth rot and fall out. Your mind produces too much dopamine and eventually you lose the ability to do that and you have to smoke much heavier amounts. It damages your internal organs.

Cocaine:  Again, it's really addictive. It leads to heart disease. It can give you a heart attack. Use too much and you may well have a stroke. Yes....this drug too, can kill you.

Heroin: Rapid addiction to this drug and the horror of getting off of it makes this enough to steer clear of. It can clog arteries and is very harmful to the respiratory system. The liver and kidneys are also easily damaged by this drug. And....it can kill you.

Marijuana:  If smoked over a long period of time, it can lead to lung problems. But, it does not contain the same carcinogens as tobacco and vaporizing marijuana takes the effects of burning the plant out of the equation and is a better option. Short term memory gets impaired. You can't become physically addicted to it. Oh....and it CAN NOT kill you. You can not overdose on pot. You can eat enough raw potato's to kill you. You can drink enough water to kill you. You can drink enough coffee to kill you. You can take enough aspirin to kill you. But, you can't smoke enough marijuana to kill you. OK....honestly it can. If you smoke 1,500 lbs of pot in 15 or so minutes....yeah, you could die. Give it a shot!

CLICK THE LINK BELOW

Schaffer Library of Drug Policy: Marijuana and Death

The world is a tough place and people look for all sorts of ways to have fun and blow off steam. Our youth has it tough. They are growing up faster than any generation before them. Mostly because of what they are exposed to at an early age. Through television, music, and print media, kids see lots of violence, see a lot about drinking and drugs, and are sexually aware very quickly. With all I've written, I think it's fairly convincing that the problem isn't the drugs and alcohol, it's our inability to reach out to kids on a truthful, personal level that contributes to the damage. Honestly, I don't know if anyone under the age of 30 should use very much alcohol or take drugs. The first 30 years of life hold many changes. And putting in temporary influences when you are starting to stake out your worldview slants the ability to see things as they are, as life experience isn't something that is easily drawn on at younger ages. Relationships, education, employment, and critical thinking should be developed and nothing needs to get in the way of that. At the same time, I fully realize that using marijuana or using psychedelics can really take your mind to the other side of the way one currently thinks, and I believe that to be a good thing. It's a win when you can stake out a belief , but also understand why others don't subscribe to your beliefs. We should be helping our younger generations make decisions that come from knowledge of the truth and not fear or lies. But, if young people are going to try drugs or whatever, doesn't it make sense that they have good information? And, if you are doing your job, by creating a trusting environment, and letting them know the truths about the pratfalls and experiences in life, they will at least make decisions from a good place. I don't want my kids deciding to do anything based on what one of their friends or MTV has to say.....do you?

This has gotten WAAAAAY long. I hope you were able to get to here. This is part one. Other things I want to address is our enslavement to corporate interests, including our own governmental policies (think war in the middle east, taxation, and social issues). I also want to talk about how patents are being issued for living cells and organisms, and there are entities out there trying to control the earth's drinking water. I really hope this was interesting and informative. Again, I'm fully aware that some or most of you won't agree with me. But I do appreciate you taking the time to read this and hopefully, if nothing else, I got you to think about some things.

I want a new drug
One that won't make me sick
One that won' make me crash my car
Or make me feel three feet thick

I Want A New Drug - Huey Lewis & The News

God, Satan, & Job

I have to go here, because it makes me laugh. The story of Job in the Bible is one that some folks want to look at when they are questioning their place in life. When things are going wrong. No matter how hard they are trying. No matter how much they pray. No matter how much they tithe. No matter how much they try to put themselves in position to do well. Things just don't happen for them. There are walls up everywhere and stop signs on every street. It's in those cases when those who are doing OK will tell you that you should be a thankful person and that you should stop to count your blessings. And, after all, if you want to see REAL suffering, just look at Job. Alright, let's do that. Ready. Set. Go!

Job, we are told, is a very good man. He did all the things that he was supposed to do under Old Testament law that was handed down from God to man (more specifically, Abraham and Moses). He worried quite a bit about his children and whether or not they were sinning. Job didn't want God's wrath to come down on him or his family, so he would send burnt offerings to the Lord Thy God, to appease the big guy. Job had a good thing going. God liked him and he liked God.

One day, God, the "sons of God" (I don't know who these guys are, but apparently, they were friends of God) and Satan were standing around, looking over things, when God asked Satan, "Get a load of this guy, Job! He does all that he is asked. He's a righteous dude. What do you think of him?"  Satan replies that it's easy for Job to be a good man, because he is in Gods favor. If Job didn't have all these blessings from the Lord, he would be pissed and turn his back on him. God loved Job, but apparently liked a good wager better. So, he told Satan he could attack Job's life (not his physical life) and possessions to test the mans faith. Wow, with friends like that, huh?


So, Satan sets about destroying Job's family and belongings. The Desolate One (aka The Master of Abortions) starts killing all of Job's livestock and basically robbing the hard working man of all he has accomplished. There was a feast in which Job's offspring were having dinner and here came the Devil busting up the party, swooping in and killing them all. Did Job curse God? Did he ask why? Nope.....he basically said "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away." He then shaves his head and tears his clothing. Hey, give him a break, you had to expect some reaction! Maybe not that exact reaction, but a reaction of some sort.


Job loses all his stuff, his home, his kids, he has no hair, and his wardrobe is ruined. But......he STILL will not get pissed at God and shake his fist at the divine one. So, God props his feet up on his desk and says to Satan "Ha! How about you now? Job is a righteous man!" The Devil, who would later go on to do fiddle battles in the deep south, replied "Well of course he still calls you master, he has his health."  And with that, our loving, heavenly father allowed Satan to attack Job's health, so long as he didn't kill him. Satan got with it and afflicted Job with boils. For whatever reason, pottery must have been sort of like salve in biblical times, because Job begins picking at his sores with broken jars. His wife tells him to curse God and go ahead and die, already. But, you know Job. He's just along for the ride and refuses to do so. So a few of his buddies come over and sit around with him. Job finally breaks down and curses the day he was born. He does get aggravated with God, but not enough to defriend him. Job knows he has followed THE law and been a good man, undeserving of the torment. But he refuses to curse God for his hardships. A good little citizen, he is.


Satan knew that he'd been beat and he laid the golden fiddle.......oops.....wrong story. Job had shown himself to be a man of God. He took the torture, loss, and failures and didn't curse God, he only questioned it. And, of course, God let him know that HE was the creator of everything and would do as he damn well pleased. Now, you may think that God acted harshly, by allowing Satan to test Job. But, when all is said and done, God allows Job to make a financial comeback and have seven more kids. Apparently, offspring didn't mean much back then, because, like Apple does if they sell you a defective IPod, God sent replacement kids. Job, just forgot about the other kids and embraced his new ones.

The moral of the story? Quit bitching and moaning about how bad you have it, before God decides to really test your faith by SENDING Satan to dick up your life. Because, if you think it's bad now, just wait until Yahweh gets involved.   

2011: Time For Resolutions!

Well, here we are facing another new year on the calendar. Marking time to show us just how old we are getting or how far in the past our hopes and dreams are. But, it doesn't have to be that way. Instead of locking in to the same old resolutions that everyone else does (ie, lose weight, watch less TV, etc), why not create some resolutions that you really can keep and that are specific to you?

I believe that coming up with self specific ideas will help you stay interested in making changes or subtle differences in your day to day life. Plus, you don't have to feel all the shame and worthlessness of not following through on a promise you have made to yourself. It's not sane to set yourself up for failure, chisel another chunk out of your self worth, and to stress yourself.

I'm going to share mine and maybe it will help someone else out in making some changes in themselves that they would like to see, but don't want to make a chore of.

Freddy's Resolutions for 2011

1) drink less soda's and/or high sugared drinks

2) eat less candy and snack foods

3) finish the script I'm working on (with a couple of friends)

4) engage each family member daily, finding out about their day specifically or what they have on their mind, as opposed to letting them come to me if they want to talk (most people do not spend that much time in actual discussion with their family, sad ain't it?)

5) write more jokes, blogs, stories....or whatever....just write a little more

See how non-specific those were to tangible results? I want to eat less candy and drink less soda, but I'm not (thanks Jere') setting a weight goal or anything like that, as I'd be setting myself up for failure. If I happen to eat too much candy, I'm not going to beat myself up, I'm going to move forward with the same goal. And I know that sometimes, I'm going to slip up. If through eating less sugar, I lose weight and feel better.....great!

It's all a matter of changing your lifestyle in a manner that you can. If you put some sort of huge expectation on yourself, you are setting yourself up to fail, unless you really have great will power (I do not). Instead of making major changes in a life that is now 42 years old, I want to make little changes that will hopefully make an impact on me.

Enjoy your 2011........hell, enjoy every day. None of us know how many we have left.     

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