Hypochondria: My latest disease!

    Hypochondriac: an excessive preoccupation with and worry about one's health

I have come to the conclusion, after some six or seven years of worrying about having a crippling disease or being on the cusp of a major instantaneous health crisis taking my life, that I may be just a bit of a hypochondriac. Not full blown, mind you....just a little nuts in that regards. 

There are several people in my life, a few former co-workers, and some friends who can probably attest to my weakness, which I put out there for consumption from time to time. I'm pretty certain that my mother always worrying that one of us was going to get some fatal disease plays into my mentality, along with this new found fear of death. And that's strange, because I've never given much of a piss about when I was going to die. Now that I actually enjoy who I am....I kinda don't wanna die yet.

I'm the kind of person who has been tough on their body. Not necessarily overly abusive, but didn't really take care of it properly, even when I was in the athletic phase of my life. I eat too much of the wrong foods and rarely eat the right ones. I used to get a lot of exercise, but that's been non-existent over the past few years. I used to drink quite a bit and don't anymore,but of course I fear that just that short time has done damage that can't be reversed. Factor in that I'm now 44 (just like ol' Hammerin Hank) and every ache and pain gets in my head. 

When I was at my former job, my buddy Joe used to laugh at me all the time about it. He claims that I've beaten cancer eight or nine times, from my various trysts with headaches, back aches, and "other" pains. I've probably had the most success in beating back brain cancer. At least four times I've been convinced I have a tumor based on a perpetual ringing in my ears and various minor headaches. I also, apparently, have cured myself of bowel cancer by eating oatmeal and wheat bread for a couple of days. I petitioned Lance Armstrong to allow me to be the new spokesman of the "Live Strong" campaign and wanted my own colored wrist band. The reality was, I would have these various pains and after a couple of days I would always figure out what I did to cause those things myself or they just went away because they were just friggin' headaches! 

I've probably had about two dozen heart attacks in the last two years alone with another 50 or so heart episodes. Throw in a couple of strokes and I'm a miracle of the human body. I just keep on going. No medical treatment or anything. I just don't eat bacon and cheese for a couple of days and I'm cured. I know exactly what causes the "heart attacks", but keep doing it anyway. Coincidentally, these heart attacks always happen when I'm alone. Go figure, right? Sort of like that guy who says he talked to god or was picked up by aliens. Always alone.

Most recently, I defeated diabetes. Headache? Check. Sluggish? Check. Thirsty a lot? Check. Urine smells like maple syrup? (a bonus by the way!) Check. I went with this for two days (even breaking the terrible news to Nancy) before I figured out that I had not drank a cola or any tea for two days and was having caffeine withdrawal. As you can see....I'm a full blown moron. I told my cousin Chris about this and before I even got to the part where I was gonna tell him I figured it out he blurted; "Caffeine withdrawal?" Wise ass. I should have called him and saved myself two days of angst and planning for my ultimate demise at the hands of sugar....that cruel, vile substance. 

Oh, and I don't want to forget my shoulder and neck pain I have been experiencing for three weeks. I've been asking everyone what could be causing it. Heart episode? Rotator cuff tear? Some other life ending plague? No, none of the above? I forgot that a few weeks back, I worked my ass off (which I'm proud to report is all gone now) in the yard and used my left arm and a hand saw in an odd motion TRYING to cut some limbs off a tree. A few days later, I had kind of forgotten about that and the pain started getting severe. Whamo! Shoulder cancer! This arm is coming off! Then, just a couple of days ago, it all occurred to me that I had done this while working in the yard. Whamo! Dummy!

What doesn't really help me at all, is looking up my symptoms on the Internet. Not a week goes by that I am not self-diagnosing myself with Ebola, hook worms, sickle cell anemia, polio, or a ruptured gall bladder on Web MD or on some other idiots blog. 

Don't think I'm making light of any of the above. I have friends and relatives that have suffered (or are suffering) from these various illness' and diseases. I worry for them and sympathize for what they have gone through or are going through. I just thought I'd give you a little taste of what the mind can do, if you are not familiar with its power already! I always go to the worst possible place when I am sick or hurting now. The thing is, it's not going to get better. I'm not going to suddenly pull a "Benjamin Button" and start feeling better as I work my way back to my quality athletic time period (which lasted about 10 years) or my sexual peak (which lasted about ten minutes). No, it's all over but the shouting physically and I'm trying to grasp that mentally. I truly feel like I am smarter and wiser than ever. I am more patient, forgiving, loving, and caring. Hooray for me....but the sad thing is, now that I am evolved into the human being I have always needed to be, I don't quite have the physical prowess to use those attributes to their fullest potential, and that is some bullshit. 

The incredible irony, which is not lost on me, is that I am once again self-diagnosing myself with a disorder that's probably (see, I can't even admit that it's not) not real! My mind is like Charlie Sheen; it's WINNING! 

Feel free to add any comments that you wish. I'm kind of interested in seeing if other people go through this stuff or am I truly an idiot in the wilderness!

Whoa.....What the f*ck?

Jeebus! You ever woke up in the middle of the night and thought "Oh shit.....I'm gonna die!"?

None of us are gonna make it out alive and that's a sobering thought when you get right down to it. Most of us put off thinking about our demise, but there are a few of us (like myself) who can't get through a day without examining it a little bit. 

My cousin says he likes to "take death out of his pocket" and give it a look over every day, so he can remind himself to not stress out and take most of life with a grain of salt. Not a bad idea for those of us who are prone to slipping into Neverland, a place where death is always happening to other people. Hell, let's be honest; a lot of people NEVER take the time to really contemplate their mortality. It's just not in us to think about our death, when we are so geared to survive. 

As I have outlined here before, and earlier in this post, I consider death quite a bit. Not so much "where I go" after the deed is done, but what is it going to be like. Once you are gone, that's it. Poof! See ya. No getting a long last look. No thinking "Hey, I'm dead!" or whatever. One second you are tossing chicken nuggets down your throat, walking the dog, sitting at your desk, or watching Cheryl shake her thang on Dancing With The Stars, the next you are into the abyss. 

Sorry if I'm depressing you, I don't mean to. It's just that I have a little wish list that I would like to get done before the clock strikes midnight and the movie ends. I guess you could call it a "bucket list" if you were so inclined, and I'm not. This is just a small sampling of stuff I'd like to see, do, or experience before I "check out".

*See Star Wars episodes 7 through 9. I said the same thing about the prequels when I was young and after seeing those, I kind of wished the Grim Reaper would have grabbed me up outta my seat about 30 minutes into Phantom Menace. If there is a hell, Jar Jar Binks will be my companion for eternity. Can I have the weeping and gnashing of teeth instead? Please?

*See the final episode of The Walking Dead. This is a new addition to my addictions, but now that I'm involved in it on the same level I was with "Lost", I have to know how it ends. I don't want to be like Abe Lincoln. He never did get to see the end of "Our American Cousin". What a jip!

*See the Louisville Cardinals win another basketball championship. Come on, dammit. It's over due.

*I really don't want to jump out of a plane before I die. With that said, I avoid flying as to not wind up in that situation.

*I don't want to ever be able to do my "celebrity freebie"! You know, every couple seems to have a "Get Out Of Jail Free" celebrity that their mate says they can have sex with free and clear. At this point in my life and with the body I have "accumulated" over the years, it would probably be just as disgusting to actually have sex with that "super babe" as it is for me to even imagine it. Once you can't even imagine yourself looking good enough for someone else to want you, it's time to sack up the potatoes and keep things to yourself. 

*I'd love to live long enough to see marijuana be legal in Kentucky. I can stroke out after walking down to the store and picking up a pack of "Really Lucky's".

*Play a round of golf with......ehh....screw that. I don't want to play a round of anything with anyone.

*I would like to see the Grand Canyon.....and every gawdam rock in it. That should buy me some time. 

*It'd be great to see how my kids are doing in their 30's. Will they be dirty bums? Will they make an impact on society? It's more likely they will just be living a life like everyone else, trying to get by, having kids, working, and that sort of thing.

All of the above could be a moot point. Remember, December 21st is fast approaching and the Mayan calendar is running out. Stock up on bread, eggs, and milk, it's French Toast time baby!

A related post:
Have Some Fun At My Farewell Party!

Reading The Tea Leaves? I Suck At It!

Well, as you can see by my election prediction, I suck at making prognostications. The bottom line is, the old standby arguments and evidence of the past no longer holds true. The demographics are changing. The Republican party has long relied on white males to win elections, but that demographic is going to be a minority group in the next 10 years or so. 

The Romney machine did the best it could to get its voters out, but let's face it, when you have a party that doesn't truly distance itself from politicians like Rick Santorum, Todd Akin, Sarah Palin, Richard Mourdock, and Michelle Bachmann (you might be shocked at some of the things these people, and other people in the party said about women, rape, slavery, and sexual preference, but I decided not to post the insanity) . Social conservatism as it is defined by the right wing of the Republican party is hurting their chances of getting a presidential election to go their way for a long time. 

Latinos and young working women voted about 70-30 for Obama. The young people and black Americans came out to vote again. Conventional wisdom says that it would be very unlikely that the youth vote would turn out. The old ways of thinking about politics have changed. 2008 was not a fluke, it's the standard. This is the Democrat vote. The GOP can't beat it unless it makes some changes. 

I believe they really need to TRULY be the party of fiscal responsibility. It's hard to be critical of Obama and his free spending ways when Bush and the GOP majority buried us in debt and pissed away a surplus that Clinton and Gingrich had built. Cutting taxes constantly is simply stupid when we have a disastrous budget deficit. Ronald Reagan raised taxes to help with a spend deficit and when things got to moving a bit, he gave the economy a jolt by cutting taxes. We are in for a train wreck with our economy and neither party is taking it seriously enough. The GOP can really set itself a part by offering a plan that makes cuts where they can be done without hurting people, eliminate fraud and waste, raise taxes on the wealthiest 20% for a specific period of time, freeze spending or roll spending back to a previous level, and place ridiculously high taxes on American corporations that take jobs overseas and then bring products back to sell to us. Give business an incentive to come back to bolster the middle class work force. Stop making shareholders the leading indicator if our economy is doing alright.

To deal with the changing demographics, the Republicans are also going to have re-evaluate their process of opposing abortion, immigration, and gay marriage. Now, I don't mean to say that anyone should abandon their principles, but the approach has to change. Stop trying to reverse Roe vs Wade. Third trimester abortions are illegal and that's a good thing, but a woman's body is her own and regardless of how any of us feel about abortion, a person's rights are their own. Not everyone believes life begins at conception. Not everyone holds a religious belief on it. Let it go and work hard to make abortions less likely by being understanding, educating, and offering alternatives. Gay marriage is a civil rights issue that the GOP is wildly on the wrong side of. Trying to amend the Constitution of the United States to deny two consenting adults the same rights as everyone else? Absurd. Again, you don't have to support it, but I would think the sanctity of marriage would better be served by working towards helping more people stay married or not get married in the first place. 50% of all marriages fail and someone thinks that gays will hurt marriage? Nonsense. How can you say you want less government and more freedom and then work hard to legislate people's behavior? That creates less freedom and imposes more government into our lives. Be the party that wants government to do what it needs to do to protect us, build infrastructure, give block grants to states to help the poor and then get out of our way and let us do what we do. Build, sell, and buy. 

Anyhow, as a registered Republican, I want the party to be relevant. I think it's important to have more than one party, but we are quickly moving away from that. Personally, I've pretty much become a libertarian. I believe that the party must move in that direction. Move towards promoting personal freedom. Move towards making tough choices in regards to our economic situation. Be a party that can really appeal to people in all walks of life. Change and adapt or die. It's simple evolution. Which many Republicans don't buy into anyhow. 

Well, there's that. 

Presidential Election: President Obama vs Mitt Romney

I suppose I will go out on a limb and make a prediction on the election. Just to make sure that I'm clear from the onset, I will be casting my vote for Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson. I made that case awhile back on this blog and nothing has changed for me on that. I don't believe that Romney or Obama are candidates who represent the sort of real change it's going to take to get our nation back on track from a fiscal standpoint or an international one. Gary Johnson is the type of leader we need. He is a candidate that is willing to talk about the issues facing our country in an adult manner. If Gary Johnson had been given just half the media attention the two mainstream candidates have been given and he had been in the debates, I am of the opinion that we would be looking at a real three way race. Instead, the Democrats and Republicans keep the power on lock down and the nation is worse off for it. 

That said and out of the way, I believe Mitt Romney will win the White House on Tuesday. I admit that I am not some political prognosticator and I've never been good at figuring out what polls and such mean. We've seen polling off time and time again over the past couple of decades and I feel like they could be off again this time as the dynamics of the country continue to change. People are more cynical about politics these days and the ability to reach people to do polling is getting more difficult, especially when trying to identify who will actually go out and vote. 

An example of this is the recall election for governor from a couple years back in Wisconsin. The polling had it a virtual tie, but the final vote was a 7 point win for Scott Walker. That's some major league fucking fudging up right there. 

I posted this (below) on an online forum today and this is all my "reading the tea leaves", and comes from no real experience in doing so. Take what I say with a grain of salt, as I'm simply interested in politics and the dynamics of the race.

The polls, however, ARE showing it close in Florida, yet nobody is campaigning significantly there at this time, but they are going nuts in Ohio. The RCP (realclearpolitics.com) average in Florida is closer than Ohio and Wisconsin, so it seems like THAT would be the battleground state that Romney would be hammering on, but again, it's not.

The time they are spending in Ohio and Wisconsin really says that those two states are in play more than Florida. Follow me.....Florida is a 1.4 on the RCP to Romney. Wisconsin is a 5.4 for Obama and Ohio is a 2.9 for Obama. From looking at the polls, it doesn't seem to make sense that Obama would be making 3 stops in Wisconsin today. If he really had it locked down, why is he there just as many times today as he was in Ohio?

Given that, it's likely that those two states hold the keys (Wisconsin/Ohio) and are really in play, despite the polling suggesting that Obama has a lead. A bigger lead in those two states than in Florida, yet Obama is doing most of his campaigning there. If Romney can't win the White House without Florida, and it's really just a 1.4 lead for him, it seems like he'd be spending a lot time there, but he's not.

There has to be something that is running that dynamic and I'm interested in trying to figure out what that is. Do they have internal numbers that are showing the reality of the race and the public polling is off? Hell, RCP has Virginia a dead heat, yet there is little action there.

You can also look at where they are spending their money and see how it could play into what the campaigns are seeing. Romney is spending roughly 5.5 million on ads in Ohio and about 5 million in Florida. Obama is spending almost 6.5 in Florida and 9.5 in Ohio. The highest spending PAC for Obama is outspending the highest PAC for Romney in Ohio. PACs for either campaign are not spending much in Florida at all. In Wisconsin, Obama is spending over 3 million and Romney is spending 1.5. By virtue of the spending, it looks like it's all about Ohio for Obama, as he is spending nearly double what Romney is in the state.

Romney is also making trips to New Hampshire and Pennsylvania. He's making trips to Democrat leaning states when Florida and Virginia tied? Either Romney is sunk and trying to throw "hail mary's" all over the place, or he is sitting comfortably in those two states.

Can you see how that is sort of strange? Are the polls off like they were for the Wisconsin recall? The polling there had it a dead heat, but Walker won by 7 points.

In watching a couple of speeches today, Obama has been wildly negative on Romney, while Romney is talking about getting to work on November 7th. Obama's crowds are very small compared to '08 and Romney is getting a lot of people out. Definitely anecdotal, but just part of "reading the tea leaves" that I find interesting.

UPDATE: Romney is going to Virginia twice on Monday and Bill Clinton will be in Pennsylvania for 4 rallies. Obama will be in Virginia and Ohio. It's probable that the candidates are going to hit as many stops as possible and we will likely see each of them stop in as many as 3 states on Monday. 

With all that in writing, I will go a bit further and predict the battleground states and the electoral margin. I think Romney will win Ohio, Florida, Virginia, North Carolina, Iowa, Colorado, and pick up a big upset in Wisconsin. I believe Obama will take Nevada, Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Minnesota. 

Electoral Count? Romney 295 Obama 243

As a reminder, please do not take this as any sort of endorsement of Mitt Romney from my end. I just thought it would be fun to make a prediction. No matter how it turns out, it will give me a topic next week! 

I'm Crushing This Morning: Concrete Blonde

I'm having a big of a crush on a band this morning and plan to spend an hour or two digging their music. Singer Johnette Napolitano has been a favorite of mine for almost 20 years. We had an assistant baseball coach at Lindsey Wilson College (John H.) who was into music and knew that I listened to quite a bit of stuff off the beaten path. He had a CD of Concrete Blonde's called "Bloodletting", which had their only hit "Joey" on it. He loved that song, but considered the rest of the record a bit dark for his tastes, so he gave it to me. 

I started listening to it.....A LOT! I listened so much that the guys I shared an apartment with started liking it. Then they started pulling it off the shelf and it was getting played even when I wasn't around. It truly is an amazing record and one that I recommend to any music lover. A pop sound, but there is an undertone of darkness to the music and definitely in the lyrics. Relationships, alcohol abuse, suicide, all of it is right there. 

Some years back, a college buddy of mine (Joey W.) ventured up from his hometown, which is in the Land of Lincoln, and attended a Concrete Blonde show with me at a night spot here in Louisville. I can't remember the name of the place, but that's not important. They were pretty damned good and the crowd was into it. There was some tension in the band though and at one point, the guitarist (James Mankey) got pissed off at singer Johnette Napolitano and told her to play the guitar if she didn't like what he was doing and he walked off. She sang a few songs by herself, one a heart piercing cover of "Mercedes Benz" made famous by Janis Joplin. 

Joey and I got to watch the band disintegrate before our eyes, but since then they have played together quite a bit. They even did a mini-tour commemorating the re-mastering and re-release of the Bloodletting record. Anyhow, I really dig their music and thought I'd write about them this morning and share a few songs that I think some of you may dig. They have released eight albums, the best of which are the aforementioned "Bloodletting" and "Mexican Moon". 

"Someday?" from Walking In London

"Caroline" from Bloodletting

"Joey" Live on Dennis Miller from Bloodletting

"Mexican Moon" from Mexican Moon

"Heal It Up" from Mexican Moon

A REAL SHOWCASE FOR HER SOARING VOICE

I hope you listen to a few tracks and enjoy it! Even if you don't, I'll make up for your displeasure!