Saturday, August 15, 2009

So go ahead, smoke up....

OK, let's get one thing clear from the get go.....I don't care who smokes.
I encourage the continuation of anyone who has picked up the "habit" (and by habit, I mean having to constantly set a manufactured stick on fire and inhale the remnant smoke because your body will punish you by coughing up hunks of your lung if you don't....and even if you do). It's bad form to quit and it's a bad lesson for kids to let them see you stopping something that you enjoy so much, because the surgeon general says it's "unhealthy". Hell yeah it's unhealthy, but so is eating chicken wings, and I'm not about to quit doing that, at least not until after my second heart attack. Here's my beef with smokers. Many of you guys/gals don't give a piss about anyone else. Have a little bit of common sense when you smoke. If there are babies around, then don't light up or go some place else.
It's your right to smoke and I hate that local governments all over the country are passing laws to ban public smoking. I think it should be up to the owner of a particular establishment, so long as it's not a government owned public property, such as a park or courthouse. But again, think of your surroundings. If I'm eating at a nice restaurant that is charging me 100 bones for a steak (and why in the hell would anyone pay 100 bucks for a slab of meat?), I don't really want to breathe in your smoke at that time. And I don't really care what the establishment policy is.....have some courtesy, unless you'd like me to drop by your table and rip off a "I had 10 garlic cheese White Castle hamburgers for lunch" butt blast for you and your date/wife/husband to enjoy. Yeah, there's a little bit of chicken ring in there too, babe, enjoy.
You wanna know something else? There are these compartments in automobiles that most of us call an "ashtray". Say that with me "ashtray". It's not a "gum wrapper tray". It's not a "worthless penny tray". It's an ashtray. For cigarettes and the like. So use it! Geez o'mighty!! How many times on my 18 minute journey to and from work do I have to watch cigarette butts go flying out of the jackals car in front of me land on or around my own car? Oh, by the way, it sucks to see every square foot of the good ole' US of A have at least one cigarette butt in it. Is it OK if I get in front of you and toss a milkshake at you and your 5 cylinder, dung colored Chevy Citation? No? You are scared that the shake might stain the "Git R Done" bumper sticker? I thought so. So, there's that. Be courteous if you smoke.
Here is what you think you look like if you smoke:

Here is what you probably look like if you smoke:

"...went upstairs and had a smoke, somebody spoke and I went into a dream.."

"A Day In The Life"--The Beatles


  1. God, you might know your first post makes fun of me.

    Thanks a lot! Hey, man, I'm delighted to see you blogging. Just wait - it gets addictive. I'm looking forward to more.

  2. A pretty comprehensive list, but you left out the smoke breaks that take 15 minutes of productivity out of every hour a smoker spends at work!

  3. Buuuuuuuuuuuullshit!

  4. Hey Freddy..hate to say it, but i smoke.. but your so right on about being respectful as a smoker to others... and one thing i dislike is a smoker blowing thier smoke in my face even though iam a smoker as well...EWww..;) candy..:)

  5. Smokers don't bother me at all...unless they are being rude. If everyone acted like they care about something besides themselves, it be easier to get along in the world, now wouldn't it!?

  6. I don't know one smoker who wouldn't quit if it were easy. If you've never smoked, then you have no idea how hard it is to quit.

    I smoke and I am very careful about where I smoke and around whom I smoke. No one wants to pay outrageous prices for cigarettes, but it is an addiction. Not one considered(publically) as strong as heroine or crack, but just as addictive all the same.

    I'm all for getting everyone to quit, but how about giving us free stop smoking aids for those who wish to do so? Why not make welbutrin (sp?)or Chantix free for those of us who wish to quit. Do they really want us to quit? I mean, where is all this tax money going to come from if everyone quits?

    Smokers are an easy target, everyone makes you feel bad for doing it, so when they pass laws and raise cigarettes, smokers don't stand up and fight them because you already feel like a big enough asshole for smoking in the first place.

    One more thing, a "habit" is bitting your fingernails, or leaving the cabinet door open. Smoking is not a habit, it is an addiction. I hate it, but feel practically powerless against it.

  7. wow fred, really instigated a pity party with that one. i thought it was funny. tell your neighbor to watch what he says about productivity. i might feel the need to toss a butt in his yard!

  8. B, you know I have no problem with the smokers....other than what I mentioned! If he gives you any trouble, we'll set his house on fire! :-)