Tuesday, December 11, 2012

2012 Man Of The Year

Making cake for the hungry. My kids were hungry for cake.

Each and every year, major publications and news organizations announce their "Man of the Year". Sometimes the "Man of the Year" is not even a man. Hell, sometimes, it's not even a human being. That is where this blog comes in. You get it straight here, without influence from the "Jersey Shore" or hipster crowd. Freddy's Open Mind is a blog for the people. I will not bow to pressure from shameless self promoters, celebrity agents, networks, film studios or record companies. I will not cave in to the demands of the political elite! This blog hits upon the toughest issues facing our world today and is a vital part of my news cycle. 

The "Man of the Year" must be an individual force, who is not afraid to be on the cutting edge of thought, even if those thoughts, more often than not, lead to inaction. My readers deserve a true representative that they can look up to and use as a beacon of hope for themselves and their children.

Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, circus clowns of all nationalities, I present to you;

Freddy: 2012's Man of the Year
Wondering if stuff in florescent lights really cause cancer. 

That's right. Your humble blogger (sounds like a bad job doesn't it? blogger) wishes to accept on behalf of himself, the Freddy's Open Mind 2012 Man of the Year Award. It's not every day that I receive an award. Hell, it's not every lifetime that I get one. I have been here, writing a bunch of bullshit that few see and even fewer read, and it makes me proud that I continue to tell myself that someday, someone will read one of these articles and it will make a difference. Perhaps 100 years from now, when someone finally gets around to cleaning up the Internet (what a vile and disgusting place), I will get my due. Yes, some over paid nitwit in Washington D.C. will be hired to take a bunch of trash out and he'll discover this site as he is headed for the dumpster. He'll read so many great articles about "douche bags", Sammy Sosa, mix tapes, hell, and Star Wars that he'll be inspired to publish my work and celebrate it as "great lost art"!  Seriously, is there any way that "You Might Be An A-Hole" isn't put into the National Archives at some point? How can any reader walk away from "Soccer Suuucks" and not be touched to his or her being? 
Not realizing I don't have to get married again because I caught a bouquet.

Why did I choose Freddy for Man of the Year?
 This has been a big year for me. I broke away from a job I had for 16 years (really disliking the last year or so of it), went from being a sarcastic, discontented pud to just being a pud (progress, right?), and have reduced my carbon footprint by working at home. Yes, I'm helping to change the world. I watched "Tree of Life" and didn't hate it. I listened to some YES songs and didn't hate them. I foiled a plot by evil ground hornets to infiltrate my yard and terrorize my children. I did try to watch "Super Troopers"again and continue to hate it and still have not made it to the end. I committed myself to lose 15 lbs and even though I gained 10 lbs, I made a commitment to do something and that felt good! Over the past 12 months I have managed to not say "Hot enough for you?". I have also not watched a single second of "Jersey Shore" and I couldn't pick a "honey boo boo" out of a lineup of two. I am also one of only 15 or so people who realize that we are not literally going over a cliff if DC doesn't come to a budget agreement. In 2012, I stopped using prescription drugs and started using drugs for recreation and man....do I feel great! One of my greatest ongoing accomplishments is that I am a lot a hearty and brave soul, much like Lou Gehrig. No, I'm not battling a disabling disease, but I have now gone 31 consecutive years without being in a fist fight. Those are admirable accomplishments for me and I've decided to recognize that by bestowing my highest honor upon myself. Congratulations to me and may I have a stellar 2013!

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