Wow, it's been quite awhile since I've written anything. Nothing going on really. The summer is just rolling by. Hard to believe it's almost July when it seems as though the kids just got out of school.
I haven't swung a softball bat for about five or six (or is it 10) years and was primed to play in a work game against another company, but it got cancelled. Well enough. A few of the guys on our team played pro baseball (2 of them AAA and one was a AAA all-star), so it's probably a good thing that my old ass didn't have a chance to be embarrassed. I still feel pretty good at 45, but that's probably because I haven't given my body a real shot at letting me down in public. I have this little voice in the back of my mind that tells me to play one more summer, but I just can't make that happen. Facing reality means facing that I will likely never hit a ball again in a competitive game. So be it.
Since I'm rambling about age, when do I get to feel grown up? Do I even want to? At my age, I still feel like a young know nothing when I'm around anyone that is over 50. Maybe it's because I spent so many years working around people that were 10 or 15 years younger than me, so I didn't have that period where I became a respectable adult. I don't even know what's so fucking respectable about being an adult anyhow. If it means not having a good time as much as possible, I don't want anything to do with it really. I figure as long as I do my best to raise my kids in a way that will benefit them when they are older and I treat my wife good, I can do whatever the hell I want otherwise.
I have been thinking about death a little bit. Yeah, I know....one of the more uplifting topics. Most people spend their lives either being afraid of death or denying it by getting wrapped up in the "importance" of their every day lives. Accumulating wealth and attaching ourselves to belongings that we think we can't live without somehow creates a mirage that fogs out the reality that we are all going to the ground. Why even be scared of death? Dying? OK, I get the fear of that. The process is largely unknown to most people. It's sudden in many instances and we don't want to hurt or be uncomfortable. But being afraid of what happens after you are gone is foolish. You are not likely going to be in a state where you can think "I'm dead", so the fear is not rational. When you go under anesthesia, you don't think about anything....you are just gone. One second you are looking at the doctor, the next you are looking at the doctor, but not realizing an hour has passed. My belief is that it's going to be like that when you die. And even that doesn't make sense. Be like what? Nothing. Nothing isn't even relevant because you won't have a conscious mind to even consider that you are nothing or nowhere. So, quit worrying about it.
Am I whistlin' past the graveyard?
Good to see Russ Smith get drafted. He should be in a situation to make the Pelicans and I wouldn't be surprised if he isn't logging some minutes next season. The guy can just play basketball, works hard and has a strong will. Guys like that usually succeed.
I promised to cut down on my concert going this year and so far have done OK. I saw Broken Bells last week. I have tickets to see Beck, Jack White, and The Replacements at Forecastle and I have good seats to McCartney (if he doesn't croak first). Unless The Jayhawks or Shooter Jennings come around that may be the extent of my spending money on live music this year. I'd love to see Citizen Cope, but at $41? Come on dude, you probably priced yourself out of a sell out crowd.
Broken Bells "After The Disco"
Beck "Morning Phase"
Shooter Jennings "The Other Life"
"Hitch 22" by Christopher Hitchens
"Room Full of Mirrors" by Charles Cross"
"Waylon" by Waylon Jennings