Friday, January 22, 2010

The "Smart" Car

OK, I'm all for people getting good fuel economy and all that stuff. I get it. But I have a request. If you own one of these so called "smart" cars, stay the hell off of the interstates or freeways. It's no place for a friggin' roller skate to be. Some, save the sea monkey, Lisa Loeb looking, chick was barely getting up to 60 mph on the Snyder Freeway this afternoon. It's been a long week and I was ready to get home. The left lane is for people who want to pass others or go at a higher rate of speed. How many people in realize that the reason it's called a "fast lane" is because of speed? So, needless to say, I had to cruise behind this idiot for about 5 miles. She wasn't getting out of the way. Probably had no idea she was holding up traffic as she had her Anni De Franco, man hating bullshit cranked up.

It's not right for some dumb ass to hold up traffic for 1/2 a mile back because they don't have any road etiquette. Eventually, I won't have to worry about that car, because a trucker isn't going to see her and they'll be able to bury her in a match box, after they scrape her carcas off the road with a spoon. It's just dangerous for a car my 5 year old could handle to be on the road.  Even says it shouldn't be used on the highway.

See, this is what I'm reduced to these days. Writing a blog about someone dragging ass in front of me, when I am trying to get home.

I'd say that if you look like this;

you probably love the idea of owning a smart car.

"'s the only way to live, in cars"--Gary Newman


  1. I gave a very left-leaning (like me) friend some advice one day after riding with him in traffic. He was doing what you say, and actually feeling smug about hogging the left lane, seeing as how it was "legal" and all and he was entitled to it. People were passing and popping birds at him, lol - yeah, it was that bad. I told him a story of how one morning I went to work and heard some guy yell out: "F---! I just cut off my f----g finger!"

    These were carpenters (I am a landscaper) indoors, and they yelled a lot but I felt it might warrant a look. Sure enough, there he was, staning there without his right thumb. A table saw had ate it right up. His buddy was in more shock than he was, lol, looking at him, paralyzed. "Look for the fu---g thumb, dammit!!" I yelled and it woke them up a little. But they were useless. I finally had them driver to the hospital - I'd find the thumb, lol.

    Well, it was off a table saw and the force of it had thrown it off a door where it bounced into the next room. I found it, put it in some salty water in a tea cup and, split for the hospital, with the cup in my hand.

    Here's the point - on the way, I was tearing ass. I mean I was massacring the speed limit. I know there is only so much time between necrosis and the ability to reattach the member so I was bookin', man. Well, I get to within a few miles of the hospital and we're climbing a hill. The lady in the left lane was apparently perfectly content to drive slowly, even with the big truck on the right. I honked, blinked my lights, moved and swayed trying to wave her over. She gave me the finger. It was a long, long hill.

    We crested the hill and what I really wanted to do was ram her ass. I popped a bird back at her as I passed and went to the hospital where a grateful doctor was sitting with my crew. "You made good time, dude, that was smart. You might have saved this guy's hand." he said. God, if he knew.

    The thumb (actually) was reattached and I saw the carpenter at a pub a few months later and he wiggled it for me, gave me a bigass hug.

    Move over when someone is trying to get by.

  2. Good story Steve! It really is a matter of consideration to stay out of the left hand lane unless you are following the faster flow of traffic or are passing. I make it a point to stay out of the left hand lane, especially for truckers, police, or business vehicles. I figure they probably have more pressing things to do than me and if they need to go faster, get on with it.


  3. Yeah, plus, you can just let "the rabbits" get the ticket you might have, lol.